Monday, October 14, 2013

TMIT: I'M LATE, I'M LATE, FOR MY VERY IMPORTANT CHEEKY DATE





1. could you date someone who's so into Legos that his whole life is Legos, he lives in a Lego house with Lego furniture and photos of massive Lego sculptures and creations and 3-D art adorn the walls and the staircase, his wallet photos are all Lego men and when he dies, he wants to donate his brain to Lego science for the good of Legokind...to be brought back after freezing into a living, breathing Lego Man? see above. obviously, no. Playmobil is where it's at.

2. you are out of undies on your big date. next move? re-wear dirty/ swimsuit bottoms and tops/ line worn undies with fresh panty-liners/ commando: i don't know what any of this stuff is. i like eating dates, though...

3. in order to date the person of your dreams, you must be on a reality show with them? do you? the person of my dreams is a reality star? really?...really?...fuck yes! it's my big break! i'm gonna be the next Keanu. no more lame youtube channel, doin' some real tv now. and by real i mean REAL.

4. okay, big bomb at the next date between you two: turns out, she's a crime-fighting superhero. oh what to do? do you sizzle things up or let things cool? we can continue on one condition: i get to wear the tight spandex black-leather cat suit at our next session. Catwoman was good at the end of the day...

5. you are in the mood to impress at this next date, but your outer and inner clothes (shirt/skirt/shirt skirt/ skirt shirt/bra/pants) split. do YOU split? what do you do? hide with jacket or sweater/ secret safety pins/ 'fess up and let it all hang out/ immediately split: go out for banana splits

bonus: you go away for the weekend with your new boo (do people even use "boo" anymore?). a ton of outdoor fun was planned, but the skies opened up and it's raining Noah's Ark-style. the rain is never gonna let up. what do you two do instead? pray, since it's the end of the world, the Second Great Flood...and fuck like rabbits...or rather fuck like blue whales...just picture that...the whales...creating a huge storm in the ocean...yeah...yeah...that's livin' right there...that's fucking nature right there.

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9 comments:

AtiyaLuv said...

I always enjoy your answers!!

lets go out for that banana split, I had no clean undies so I am going commando...never know, we may get caught on that Great flood and might end up like blue whales!!!

Happy TMI

Kazi G said...

I am so with you on the bonus! Go, Shamu, go!!

:*

~Kazi xxx

the late phoenix said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
the late phoenix said...

atiya: y'know, i don't think i've ever had a proper banana split in my life.

kazi: Free Willy...i know...sorry...too easy...gotta be more creative...but i'm tired this morning...need tea...and pancakes...with lemon...on the pancakes, not the tea...

filledandfooled said...

It's a Tsunami, cumming right for us!!

Playmobile is pretty cool.

Happy Tuesday!!
-G

the late phoenix said...

G: Playmobil was the best for all those middle-school projects. that one set with the huge pirate ship, better than a rubber ducky at bathtime...

redceedee said...

LOL! "I.am.an.FBI.agent!" If you're the next Keanu, what will we do without your blogging?? NO, stay here. Love your answers!

the late phoenix said...

red: ha :D

Keanu's a good actor, he just tries too hard.

Juliette said...

Your new "Boo" what is this? Is that like "Beau" but bastardised? Just curious...

Banana splits. Yum.