Wednesday, May 22, 2013



click the pic above to light the way for the new series, #1 of 4

after a tumultuous life, i've settled down with a few good ones, internet wisps though they are. i can't disparage the number of good real friends i have, i must acquiesce to fate which has deemed it possible for a tired man as myself to have any human interaction at all. there are always regrets, always regrets, you always want more, "we want more" as that girl from the AT&T commercial intones, wish things would have progressed differently with some, but you can't fight the next day, the tide, the fierce power of the wave that is already turning the page, not caring that you don't want to.

there is that babe with the ridiculously-huge tits, when she commented, i felt my depression throw away its weights for a second, i was light and airy like a cupcake puff, i had no problems except which anime to watch next to infuse my pop-culture knowledge deeper so i could have a better chat with her the next time. i wonder what happened to her, i'd need to join twitter now, fuck that, too much trouble, think she's a baker or something, no doubt filling men's mouths and minds with savory deliciousness, thoughts of flaky crust and those heavenly breasts. i am just a guy after all, nothing special, am but a down man.

these friends now are all that i know, all i've ever known, it's like no one existed before. i had a staunch best-friend-for-life in elementary school, but i've forgotten his name, it all runs together, it cruelly blurs together, it never comes out as crystal-clear memories. he was a beautiful person, Italian boy with hair dark as raven, smart and kind, back when these qualities were measured and appreciated, before the youtube destruction of all that is holy in human beings, the moral relativism, the intense permanent irony inbred into all online comments.

these are the people that keep me afloat, years and years of damage have rendered me a flaccid weak balloon man, each quip and email observation of theirs blows a little air back into me.


i don't ask anymore what the future holds for me, i don't envision different folks in my life, a different setting, a Hollywood pool party perhaps, or dank monastic stone, i've had my affair with the Tarot Card Lady and the sex was not good. i wrap my cyber arms around my friends now and don't think.



Anonymous said...

Hope you continue to write here-provides a smile a day for me-and smiles shouldn't be taken for granted.

You are probably extremely handsome as well, I would assume-the witty writers always seem to be.

'To the world, you may just be someone-but to someone, you may be the world'

Keep shining bright like a diamond, Phoenix..

Kazi G said...

If you overanalyse it, it isn't there anymore. Smile and believe and it will be there :)


~Kazi xxx

Leah said...


the late phoenix said...

anon: thank you! GG Marquez ftw. yes, i am extremely EXTREMELY handsome...

kazi: it's the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle of psychiatry.

leah: *cyber-hugs*

AtiyaLuv said...

Yo te amo!!
ok, so when you said anime I dont know why but chobits just popped into my head!
to say the least for one moment I was fantasizing you were Vash the Stampede and I was Chi from Chobits...I know completely out away from the post, I guess I got stuck in the anime part and my mind took of from there!!

Love your writing Phoenix :)

Juliette said...


I like this - "but you can't fight the next day, the tide, the fierce power of the wave that is already turning the page, not caring that you don't want to."

This proves that you do think so don't lie ;)

the late phoenix said...

atiya: Vash the Stampede, that was classic adult swim back in the day. it seems i'm able to still write somewhat cohesively, so that's a good sign still...

juli: it's a difficult balance: i want to always think 'cause i don't want to end up dumb, but at the same time, i also want to shut everything down and just ascend to Heaven right now.

Missed Periods said...

That was some good writing.

the late phoenix said...

thank you, Jenny, and i count you as one of My Friends Now.