click the pic above to light the way for the new series, #1 of 4
after a tumultuous life, i've settled down with a few good ones, internet wisps though they are. i can't disparage the number of good real friends i have, i must acquiesce to fate which has deemed it possible for a tired man as myself to have any human interaction at all. there are always regrets, always regrets, you always want more, "we want more" as that girl from the AT&T commercial intones, wish things would have progressed differently with some, but you can't fight the next day, the tide, the fierce power of the wave that is already turning the page, not caring that you don't want to.
there is that babe with the ridiculously-huge tits, when she commented, i felt my depression throw away its weights for a second, i was light and airy like a cupcake puff, i had no problems except which anime to watch next to infuse my pop-culture knowledge deeper so i could have a better chat with her the next time. i wonder what happened to her, i'd need to join twitter now, fuck that, too much trouble, think she's a baker or something, no doubt filling men's mouths and minds with savory deliciousness, thoughts of flaky crust and those heavenly breasts. i am just a guy after all, nothing special, am but a down man.
these friends now are all that i know, all i've ever known, it's like no one existed before. i had a staunch best-friend-for-life in elementary school, but i've forgotten his name, it all runs together, it cruelly blurs together, it never comes out as crystal-clear memories. he was a beautiful person, Italian boy with hair dark as raven, smart and kind, back when these qualities were measured and appreciated, before the youtube destruction of all that is holy in human beings, the moral relativism, the intense permanent irony inbred into all online comments.
these are the people that keep me afloat, years and years of damage have rendered me a flaccid weak balloon man, each quip and email observation of theirs blows a little air back into me.
I'M NEVER ALONE, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK
i don't ask anymore what the future holds for me, i don't envision different folks in my life, a different setting, a Hollywood pool party perhaps, or dank monastic stone, i've had my affair with the Tarot Card Lady and the sex was not good. i wrap my cyber arms around my friends now and don't think.
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