THE LATE PHOENIX: I WANTED TO BE FAMOUS. INSTEAD, I HAVE THIS BLOG.
Monday, November 19, 2012
TMIT: SLEEP IS GOOD
so cold, it's so cold, i'm so fucking cold...oh, *closes window*y'know, folks, sleep really does work wonders on the body. this last Sunday Morning (Maroon 5), i wasn't as agitated and knee-jerk reactionary when my carefully-crafted youtube comment wasn't responded to by my youtube "friend". it was a double whammy, it hurt twice, because i regarded that comment to be one of my most brilliant. i'm used to being ignored and never acknowledged on youtube, but not with that comment, come on, i worked hard on that one, i dropped sweat thinking that one up. i had had a nice long good-night's-rest the night before, so my cells were calm, my mind was unusually clear and strong and not swayed by my usual flights of emotive fancy, it was quite remarkable. sleep: who needs pills?1. when was the last time you or a loved one had their prostate checked? loved one, *starts to cry*, don't have one of those :(2. besides a medical professional, how many other people have had their finger up your ass? the world...it's someone else's world, not mine, and everyone, including me, is living in it. like it's Lebron's or Federer's or Corgan's world. also, yeah, i could have gone with the answer "opinions" here, as in "opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one." that's especially true now with the dawn of this whole internet thing where everyone has a blog and spouts off the type 24/7.3. have you ever given or received a prostate massage? was it pleasurable? did you cum? i always cum, but for different reasons. yesterday, it was 'cause of the sun, the warm rays of the sun affects my body so. this morning, it was 'cause of the sun, but 'cause of the majestic beauty of the sun, my poet's sensibilities cummed. prostate massage, huh? man, i am so out of the loop, i guess i live under a rock, i actually live below Rock, the white rock, 30 Rock...man, i need to read a book...4. do you enjoy anal play: rimming, fingering, penetration? ummmmmmmm...fingering as in knitting a holiday-themed glove for Crimbus? that's slang, right? "fingering" is producing the "fingers" of a glove, huh?5. ever had anal sex? i tried once at a street corner, the guy thought i was asking about the Annals of Rome, we had quite the conversation about mathematics, homosexuality, and the lost art of letter-writing. i'm not gay, but i was happy after that.6. you're about to swim down the ol' chocolate hole---or have anal sex, which is the medical term---do you choose a finger up the arse, prostate stimulator/massager, or penis, either real or strap-on? all of them, and none of them. gotta go with PENIS, that is such a perfect word, it speaks to all of our collective human fears, dreams, and wants with just the one word, it's the perfect one-word response to ANY video on youtube, ANY video, i see it all the time in the comments section, it's the response which always gets the most thumbs-ups: PENISbonus: show us your Movember stache? post a photo of you. i can't do that!!! i'd blow my cover!!! but i can assure you, i am wearing a nice burly Movember stache presently...CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY.