CENTER CORE: THE OLIVE PIT

 

Silk: i need some music to clear my soul. not everything is finger cymbals with me you know, i need to ROCK OUT sometimes. 

Deepak Chopra inverts a bushel basket in the middle of campus, steps afoot on top of it, and declares:

Deepak Chopra: listen, how many apples are there in India? that is your lifetime contemplation. i ain't gonna be around for much longer. when my time has come, it's a fluid transition, man, my son is Sanjay Gupta.

Silk: see? the younger set don't jive with this. they need a new approach.

Rod Serling with a massaging hand, and professor glasses: ...

Billy Corgan at Core Center: there has never been really a good sitar song, you know? a song for sitar, a symphony for sitar. Beethoven came closest when he stuck Indonesia in his ear after a visit with the Maharishi.

Mick Jagger wearing black earrings: ...

Mick Jagger: fine, i'm older than Keith Richards.

Billy Corgan plays a cover of the UVERworld song "Eye's Sentry" inside the Core Center.

Billy Corgan: okay i'll admit with a few sighs, this is a better Eye song than mine. sometimes you gotta ROCK OUT, you know? not like Underworld. my Eye song requires i lug a heavy big-ass VST sampler to play it live, and that's to play it acoustic!!! now i know how Enigma feel.

me: you were the right person who came along.

Jen R: with the left ideas.

Famous Amos: nobody had ever thought of bite-sized cookies before!!!

High and Low.

Taguchi: just because i have a bald sweating head doesn't mean i like Bosco chocolate milk. try to not look like a cop.

grunt: none of us do. cops wear white shirts and look like Jehovah's Witnesses?

Akira Kurosawa: what are the chances they would have THE SAME CAR?!!!

Mt. Fuji: i'm not a cloud...

Taguchi: you bring the pistol, i'll bring the cannoli. keep the boy at Tokyo Disney so we don't lose him to the kidnapper again.

Inspector: nothing to do with our case, this was Japanese Trainspotting. a cup of water next to the bodies because they were thirsty. the husband/wife accomplice team were guilty of the crime of wanting to feel good.

procaine: the stuff before cocaine, the stuff before the stuff.

Inspector: there are tiny Sergio Aragones drawings on the margins of the suicide note...

kidnapper: i'll count all the serial numbers, this should take an hour...

Kingo: you're not a ghost in a shell, you're just the shell!!!

pink smoke: makes this technically a color picture.

incinerator: i got one of them dirty jobs. i can spit on your pants and it doesn't matter. i told Dorothy she couldn't make the Tin Man "go away" after she fucked the Scarecrow.

Bos'n: not him. that's a Freddy Krueger welt on his hand, we all have bad dreams.

intern: isn't that an apartment thing?

Inspector: remember the overhead projector in Algebra class?

Bos'n: this Wilford Brimley hat makes my bald head less scary. flowers for me? you shouldn't have, you sweet man.

Janet Wood: don't worry, i tripped him up. the suspect drank powdered milk in front of me.

Rubikon: finally a black man. sukiyaki sizzling so hot the ceiling fan's at 100. is that a waitress or a nurse? war babies being conceived at this dance club. is there beer that's NOT draft beer?...

lasso: i'm roping you in on the dancefloor, you're mine.

Dope Alley: we just wanted a popsicle.

Johnny Depp: he's at the Pirates of the Caribbean ride!!!

Detective Conan: go on, i'll pay the parking ticket.

Mario: quick!!! before he does a Luigi Mangione on the sidewalk!!!

Dr. Mario: aw let him take the cyanide capsules, it'll be cleaner.

IRS checker: we'll cancel the auction if you give me Bulma.

Naruto: don't worry, it's just a spell seal.

culprit: i never had a room on top of a hill, you know? 

i'm not afraid of Hell, my life has been Hell since the day i was born: thank you.

Jules Smith: Tesco, not Taco Bell...

Bob Barker: i am OBSESSED with audiences...

Tom Thumb: but i wasn't actually the size of a thumb.

Trent Reznor: you were nine inches high...

Match Game: First Choice would not have been my first choice...

firemen with mustaches: we're stuck in the '70s...

millennials on YouTube: don't be smug like us, don't react to "Closer" after taking a long sip from your coffee mug like you're too cool for the room.

Silk: they're just not buying it. i'm just not getting through to them. the importance of religion.

Jen R: everybody these days are their own universe. maybe instead of FOLLOWING a god, BE the god.

Silk takes an apple basket, turns it over, plants it inside Core Center, climbs on top of it, and exclaims:

Silk: DON'T EAT THE GREEN OLIVES IF THE PIMENTO IS MISSING!!!

Vishnu: that's the ticket, darlin'. hey can you take over for me? i'm going to Kurt Cobain's house for a touch-up on my powder-blue skin...

Silk: you're right, there's SO much information out there now everyone has to be THEIR OWN GOD.

Zack Morris: see this brick phone? i'm trading it in at the student union for a brick pillow so i can finally be a proper dorm college student. i served a different master: i was your God if your parents allowed you to watch Saturday-morning cartoons. but NOT Beverly Hills, 90210, which was a TEEN show!!! the middle children who snuck in The Maxx when their babysitter's ponytailed head was turned.

Silk: you're right, MTV cartoons were more interesting than the award shows. the Peach Pit was cored out by FCC rules and regulations, watered-down scripts, made the teen experience unrealistically non-prom. The Max was safer. i was always suspicious of the outside world...