Jack and Janet find Cindy at the university. of Berkeley.
Jack Tripper: what are you doing here?Cindy Snow: i am so sad. but i told you guys i'd be leaving the apartment for college, remember? i want my I-thought to leave me.
Jack: just as long as you don't leave us. come on, Cindy, we care about you.
Janet Wood: yeah Cindy, don't feel bad you got all of Chrissy's bad leaving karma on her way out.
Cindy: the producers said i couldn't act. i think this is one of those journeys you gotta do alone with just your mittens on. Janet you can have my skis.
Jen R: remember in the '80s when you'd just give a $1 bill to a complete stranger and ask for change?...
Page Miss Glory.
Marion Davies: there were no pagers in 1935!!!
newspaper reporter: do you believe a woman's place is in the home?
Dawn Glory: Gloria Steinem is MY Miss Glory. i love watching those old Women's Lib episodes of Match Game...
newspaper men: we can't print that!!!
peephole in the ceiling?...
employee entrance: Star Trek transporter.
a fella takes you out for an auto ride in the country: because cars were still a new thing.
Dawn: House Beautiful is the paper of record. i enjoy the turtle soap, but brushing my teeth with the toothpaste is a bridge too far.
Bingo, singing: when the moon hits your eye like a big-a pizza pie, that's.........whoops, sorry...
movie inside a picture frame: witchcraft.
me: i kiss your picture, too.
Jen R: i really wish you hadn't told me that.
soup stains: the REAL Democrats!!!
married idol: Simon Cowell.
see?: mani-pedis make gangsters whole again.
women: neck kisses have ALWAYS been the best kisses...
Click: this is the VERY FIRST CAPPUCCINO...
Jen R: remember when the phone would be brought to your table a a restaurant?...
to shanghai: NOT to watch Meet the Press.
Bugs Bunny: oh come on, the old finger-in-the-coatpocket trick???
gangster suit: we wore shoulder pads before '80s women.
real diamonds: not worth it.
gangster: trout delivery. get it? sleeping with the fishes. TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS!!! that's my specific kink. i'm also into socks with stirrups.
sissy pants: the pants worn by Karnov.
Karnov: i can't take being American citizen!!! i go back to Greece to be Zorba!!!
Cindy bungles her way into Mr. Furley's mall-karate dojo in the middle of campus.
Cindy in dark-blue gi: i am so sad. will my journey ever end, Mr. Furley?
Mr. Furley in light-blue gi, smiling warmly: i'm a good landlord. i'm a pet-friendly landlord. i allow cats because they want to drink from the kitchen faucet when they see the water coming out of the Keurig machine, that is so cute how in-sync with humans they are.
Cindy: how many more karate chops on the path of life?
Mr. Furley: aw don't be sore, Cindy. karate is my passion, you kids know that. but it was hard getting here, i had to kiss a lot of frogs beforehand. i was the foreman at a power-plant dam once. yeah. in Downtown Los Angeles, not there anymore, Charlton Heston fucked it up. i could take Heston with one of my karate CHOPS!!!
cats: do NOT get the pellet kitty litter, that stuff's even cheaper than the lightweight litter!!!
Cindy hops to the Regal Beagle looking for a cup of hops and to admire the Prince Adam painting in the striped-wallpaper hallway leading to the bathroom.
He-Man: only MY legs can pull off puce pants.
Jane Fonda: muscular leggings, toned. Robert Mitchum once painted me in oils like that...
Cindy: well at least no one's liking the nude Jack painting anymore. i'm gonna leave before Larry gets here...
Imagine Dragons: we do commercial music, music for commercials...
Anthony Bourdain: get drunk with strangers.........more a romantic travel notion than you should put this into actual practice...
Richard Dawson: i am OBSESSED with the toidy. is there a toilet behind the Match Game set?...
fabric shaver: some buzzes are pleasurable. but not in a dentist's chair...
Robert Redford: i am the light in your darkness, and in your snow...
Robert Redford: now i guide myself by my own hand through the underworld, as Good-Looking Death...
cheesecake: tiny pizza.
Laertus: i had to hack into my own account because i forgot my password...
Boc: very uncomfortable standing on the corner of the highway sidewalk, a small car with the top down pulls up, stops RIGHT in front of you, and the two of you are just staring at each other inches apart in silence in the road...
Suzy Lu: i am your structure, your stability.
basketball: why is there no offside?...
Selector: perfect name for an industrial band.
Ear Horn: and the knob on an oven...
Meredith MacRae: Aunt Cork from Manhattan Beach but famous...
the printer: the middle child...
Match Game: despite the '70s stagflation we were a game show giving out MONEY!!!
Alice N Chains the glam band: it almost seems like a parody. like the Wikipedia page is a joke or something.
Layne Staley: i wanted to be Axl Rose, not me...
after walking Downtown Los Angeles for a minute and a mile, Cindy Snow is guided by her instinctual head to Cassie Cranston's place.
Cassie Cranston: wow, i can't believe you found me!!! all the streets around here look the same...
Cindy: i am so sad.
Cassie: why so blue, kid? it'll be alright.
Cindy: i was worried about you, nobody knew what happened to you after Season 3 of It's a Living. where did all your man-hungry ways ultimately land you?
Cassie: well i'll tell you something, i made out exactly as you would have expected. Charles Fleischer asked me to marry him and i said yes. he's a depressed sadsack who only plays mini-chess and he NEVER does the Roger Rabbit voice. so much so that i don't believe he EVER did the Roger Rabbit voice. i made out okay, kid.
Cindy: did they pull you into a room and tell you you couldn't act?
Cassie: no, but they did say i could only act with a Brooklyn accent...
Robert Redford gets out of the black Buick. 1950s black Buick. with the motor still running, the other two carmates, one woman, one man with glasses, befuddled. in the middle of the road in the middle of nowhere, hilly one-car road. and Redford stops, cracks his back bending down to pick yellow flowers by the side of the road.
Robert Redford: my side hurts but it was worth it. not for a woman, just always pick flowers, you know?
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