Monday, October 19, 2015


all good acting coaches are insane old ladies---Family Guy

1. look at your desktop. i have two screens on my desk now, one facing me, the other having a permanent tantrum and facing away, the screen of my apple is forever busted so i connect to a new widescreen tv screen. my desk is two large pieces of jagged wood.
a) how many icons? four, the TMIT home page, Macintosh HD, Solitaire, and Chat. whenever i push Chat, i type something in the box but nobody ever responds.
b) what 5 icons will you retire forever due to disuse? Macintosh HD, Solitaire, Chat, that little electric guitar that seemed cool at first, and OFF SWITCH
c) any sexy pic/porn folders? no but i have a lot of manila folders, i'm the Maury who's-your-daddy? folder-prepper.

2. look at your phablet. i can't, it keeps saying there was a problem with the page and it's being automatically reloaded. automatic, that's nice of them.
a) one home page or several? my home page is the TMIT home page, i start my internet day there and use that search engine box to begin my various searches, like for those huge dill pickles that come one in a bag, and bagged milk.
b) which barely-used widgets are you ready to part with? Windows 1.0, Windows 11, and an icon of a window that when you press it automatically sends an apple pie to your front stoop. the pixelated blue bird by the window sings when you make your order but it's not really singing, it's laughing at you.

3. sexy peeps, are your sexy pics/videos organized? yes, by gusher height
a) in their own directory b) special file mixed in with regular documents c) secure on a separate flash/thumb drive d) i pop in a VHS to watch porn let's just say i'm making good use of my laminated Blockbuster Lifetime Member card.

4. if you got down to serious business, like the way the internet is serious business, how would you organize?
a) verb-based (look, listen, share, photo, navigate)
b) color-coded icons
c) alphabetized
d) frequency of app use
i'm heavy into the acting nowadays and my teacher says i need to once again build up my well of sense memories, i need lived moments i can think about again and again if i need to cry on cue. i have so many such moments in my life to return to, so the assignment was easy. i got an F in Life but an A on my test.

5. five apps you can't live without? the bird stamp one, the blue note on the CD one, the electronic bulletin board, the calendar which always says July 17, 2006, and the silver question mark one. i'm scared to click on the question mark.

bonus: how many people have seen your sex tape? everyone in the world has seen the Paris Hilton sex tape.



Jules said...

These questions were posed very differently to the norm. I think its a male, virgo or leo with a great sense of control and order; maybe a tad anal. Definitely organised. Also maybe a bit of a wanna be psychologist. Intriguing. Anyway...

If you could make a widget or an app my sweet, what would it look like and what would it do? *)

the late phoenix said...

two words, my sweet: Appetizers App *)

the late phoenix said...

also known as the App App. millennials and math professors call it App Squared *)