1. for me, it was _________. you, always you, never me, always you. i am not me without you, i am nothing. seriously. this isn't a game. this isn't TMIT. this is real. this is fucking life. i love you with all of my heart and soul.
2. _______ at my local supermarket. i did self-checkout for the first time at my local supermarket. i was a virgin at it, but the courteous checker to the right of me was gentle. i'm getting better and better at self- stuff. soon my entire schedule will consist of selfing myself. and i'll take a selfie of it.
3. behind the tree ________ we were high-school freshmen. Percy carved out a gloryhole while i stood there watching. i thought Percy was there to carve the initials of his beloved. kids grow up too fast. i was just there for some sap, y'know, wanted some maple syrup to drizzle on my fluffy pancakes.
my *fluffy pancakes* wink wink
4. ________ is always something i wanted to do. something is always something i always wanted to do someday.
5. when it was over, ________ . i never wanted it to end, i wanted it to continue eternally. but then my limited human brain started to ponder the concept of infinity and it short-circuited. i guess it all gets explained when you die.
6. tonight i'm looking forward to ________ . going backwards.
bonus: what is the second pic from up atop there? explain how you would use it: it's called the Self-Doctor. this is gonna be revolutionary. you'll never need to go to a doctor again, it's all done in-house. you simply twist off the plastic cap of the long tube there and pee into the pipe. swish it around to make sure it's blended. i recommend not doing this in the same area you prepare your morning coffee, you might get them confused. in 3 days, you push a button and the tiny screen tells you everything that's wrong with you, everything: blood, psychological problems, ailments, maladies, broken bones, hereditary diseases you may pass on to your kids. then you simply fix everything in the comfort of your own McMansion and you're home free.
coming soon: the Self-Lawyer. simply pee in the pipe and the lawyers will...
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