SSS: THAT TICKING

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click above for 3 of 4



my useless life ticks away

tick tick

damnit! i cut myself on that exposed spring wire deep in the chewed-up hole of my mattress

third time i've hit that exact spot on the back of my elbow

it's cold there, hot now, my fingers are getting tingly, numb

i'm too tired after 8 hours sleep to leave the comfort of my bed

i'll let it hurt, let it bleed, it's not bleeding

what a fantastic dream

more and more i want to stay in the dream realm

this one i was an actor in really felt real,

this time i knew this was my real life and the other was the other,

there was Dad and Mom and i all nestled together, easy talking, laughing quietly

like we used to do, it came so easily to be easy,

and inside the circle of us soaking up all the attention was Kitty, the one who has since left us,

beautiful white Persian, fluffy family, beautiful life cocoon,

we are by a fireplace, no, a big blue gymnastics stretchy soft landing pit

and Kitty licks herself in her...um, place...and starts flying

this should have clued me in that this was not real, but it still was real to me, my beloved flying

as easy as an inside joke amongst my family,

that's what made it so special, the impossible was ordinary,

that's how my real life should go,

but it never will

i so hated to wake up from that one

where is my cat? he usually curls up by my feet, where is my second beloved?

the only friend i ever had

can't leave for the monastery, we need each other, it's us against the world

a world that doesn't care, doesn't notice me or anything else

while jamming up the highest internet speed possible

leaving the mentally ill to suffer along the highway of information

my cat doesn't fly, but i wish he could

wish i could, i'd escape into another dimension

the dream dimension

ouch, it's actually bleeding now

drip drip goes the red time

like when i was at school taking tests

the pressure

i'd look up at the clock on the wall as it tick tick

one of my nervous habits during tests was to brush the back of my head hair with my fingers

only then could i continue to question #2

that was back when i had hair...and mild OCD

i was gonna use that little anecdote in my novel,

but i'm not sure i'll be around to complete my novel,

so i might as well type it out here now for the world to see

get it out before i get out of here

WHILE I'M STILL AROUND, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK




the tick tick drip drip

carries me

along to my dark destiny

tomorrow isn't guaranteed

me

watched a health special on tv

realized i hadn't made any progress at all

back to square one, waiting to fall



just when i think i can make something happen,

i realize the end has already been written

long ago by forces NOISILY BLACK, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

moaning, murmuring, motioning for me to join them.


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