Monday, August 5, 2013

TMIT: JUST FOR SERIOUS






1. what's your dirtiest secret? although i enjoy a good artichoke heart, i secretly eat the artichoke's inedible leaves with the pointy things on them. look up "Artichoke Sex" by Suzanne Somers.

2. what's the sweetest thing you have done for someone? built them a house...a Lego House...just this past summer, i mean, kindergarten, yeah, kindergarten. i'm not a geek or anything.

3. what's your favorite foreplay act to give and receive? give: i love licking on a woman's sweet, tender, tastes-like-candy vagina until she cums bucketloads of clit juice. receive: whatever leads me to ending up cumming bucketloads into her mouth, whatever comes before, i'm game: nippleplay, whips, popcorn...it's all about the joint release...and if you sneak in a good movie like 300: The Next One in there, that edifies the mind.

4. state five facts about your body:

* i'm skinny as a rail, railroad conductors laugh at me during their lunch breaks.

* my calf muscles despite twenty years of continuous strengthening work actually curve inward i'm that thin.

* i gave up on perming my frizzy hair so i just shave it once a month, but i'm still not gonna wear the pale goth makeup.

* my ears are big, the kindergarteners used to call me Dumbo, but now that i grew into my adult face, i see my ears are just fine. of course now my head is big........that means a whopping 3 THREE different things! joke's on them, i live comfortably in my Lego House.

* i have the biggest cock that will ever be.

5. would you like to fondle the person next to you? yes...just let me put on my virtual-reality headset...and glasses...and press the button and...

bonus: penis or vagina? why? vagina...'cause sticking your penis in donuts is just depressing...............now jelly donuts, that's another matter.......................................................................no, it's still not the same...

CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY

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12 comments:

AtiyaLuv said...

I heard Artichokes are suppose to be an aphrodisiac, I am not very fond of it.

#3..wow!! I am down

#4 I knew you had a big cock!!!!

#5 I'm right here!!!

Happy TMI Phoenix!

Aluv

filledandfooled said...

I need a donut right now.

Silverdrop said...

Hmm, jelly donuts and sex. ;)

the late phoenix said...

atiya: the heart of the artichoke, peel away all of those annoying hairs on it, cut it into quarters, dip in salad dressing, make sure the heart pieces are hot and cooked, combined with the cold, tangy salad dressing=heaven. heart pieces, like in Zelda.

f and f: going to get some right now. it's donuts o'clock somewhere in the world.

silver: doing it with donut holes is the real challenge...

Panty Parade said...

All of a sudden I'm hungry for a jelly donut . . . .

the late phoenix said...

panty parade: what say all of us TMITers meet up after church on Sunday for some coffee and donuts...and other stuff...

Alan & Michele said...

We can't believe we just Googled "Artichoke Sex" (lol).

And yeah for jelly donuts!

the late phoenix said...

alan and michele: i used to do it 3 times a day, but after counseling, i'm down to 1.

Cee said...

#3 - *pops in "300" and shares popcorn* LET's GO.

the late phoenix said...

cee: it's either that or Smurfs 2, i get all of my movie knowledge from Tim Heidecker.

Hedone said...

You mean sticking your penis in a jelly doughnut is not the sweetest thing you have ever done?

"* i have the biggest cock that will ever be." <==That statement is worthless without pictures.

-H

the late phoenix said...

H: pics or it didn't happen, that's Lesson #1 in Troll Class...