Monday, March 4, 2013

TMIT: DESSERT > DESERT

1. what did you give up for Lent? ah, my childhood, when i still believed...
2. what sexually could you never give up? with all due regard to JOE BIDEN, i would LITERALLY be dead right now, not typing this but dead, if i couldn't masturbate twelve times a day, with one of them being a real cum gusher.
3. what act would you like to do for 40 days and 40 nights? rubbin' the genie lamp...huh? huh?...asking for 3 wishes...huh? huh?...you can't ask for more wishes as one of the 3 wishes...huh? huh?...you always end up having to use your last wish to erase the horror you created with the first two wishes...and screenplay class is over for today, folks...time for me to pick a corner and get ready for the cum gusher.
4. what sexual sacrifice have you made? why? it's more of a choice, i realize that true love lasts longer than mere dirty sex, at least one day longer until the divorce, so i have invested all of my time in pursuing true pristine love rather than more generic porn. it's going well so far, i just started three minutes ago...
5. have you ever been tied to a cross or anything else? getting symbolic here, my Cross, my Burden, is living this life on this terrible blue marble, i want out, i want to get onboard the Starship Enterprise and explore other star systems, the Klingon Home World, i want to fuck green-skinned babes...even those Klingon babes with that armor with the open middle that showcases their hot pushed-up tits, and you combine that with the feral nature of the Klingon species in general, can you imagine Klingon sex? yeah, a human would die from it, but what a way to go, you orgasm like you never had before then LITERALLY get eaten alive...you're dead, but it was worth it...cum gusher serves as a salad dressing for the meal...the meal being you the human.
6. what part of your body do you like worshipped? worshipped here meaning licked and sucked, that would be my straight long tentpole glistening-with-your-spit ba-boing-ba-boing-boing cock
7. what can your partner do to you to make you feel pure bliss? no partner, but i can imagine the perfect answer: just be you, my bliss comes from you just existing and being yourself. *AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH* see? i'm going for true love now, not sex. Oprah says to always bet on you, but i lost my pirate fortune gambling, so i'd rather bet on my imaginary true love.
bonus: tell us about a time you were tempted. did you resist or give in? gave in, i tried, i gave up (Nine Inch Nails), the end, fade to black...it was over some uninteresting thing like the rent or something...couldn't resist...it was either the chicken or the fish...the peanut butter or the landlord's big-assed daughter...choosy Moms choose Jif...i chose...fish...the "smelly tuna", i ate that "tuna" like i was eating my true love's clit...ended up swimming with the fishes...and the tuna...
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8 comments:

Kazi G said...

Beam me up Scotty... there's no intelligent life here!!

HTMIT!!

:*

~Kazi xxx

Theresa Milstein said...

I used to give up chocolate for lent. I think my first year, I gave up Barbies. I was a terrible Catholic, even back then.

AtiyaLuv said...

Ok, lets fall in love together!!
Happy TMI Phoenix!!!!!

besotes
Aluv

the late phoenix said...

kazi: Klingon sex > doomed blue marble

theresa: the Ken dolls on Robot Chicken became so disillusioned with living in the Barbie Dream House that they formed Fight Club to let off some steam...

atiya: porn is easy, love is hard.

Hedone said...

3. LOL LOL...what is wrong with you :p

6. I am ready to worship you.

Happy TMI Tuesday,

-H

the late phoenix said...

H: *ba-boing-ba-boing-boing*

T. Roger Thomas said...

I gave up eating lintel soup for Lent. Apparently, I haven't given up being a smartass.

the late phoenix said...

T: being a smartass landed me here in blogland. soup is good and will lead to a proper love marriage. now smartass soup, well, that's a rare delicacy only served in L.A....