Wednesday, March 20, 2013

SSS: WINDOW TO MY PAST


*CLICKY CLICKY*

click above to end me, i mean, this series.

CLICK HERE AT THIS LINK FOR YOUR REQUISITE CAN OF HOT...

the real sun scorches my right hand,
but it is away from the real action,
enough to protect the gooey important center,
the center where my imagination lives.

in my imagination i see where my life should be,
where it should have been taken,
only here can i breathe a sigh of relief
and dwell in my own colorful fantasies.

my rose-scarred fingers, veiny blues forming a cup,
lifting the window with strengthless nails, fingertips,
just enough to let in a breath of fresh air,
this time not from my lungs but yours.

let in just enough of the world
so i can play with this world,
shape it to my desires and vents,
make it into a place that's signature me

with my colored pencils
newly sharpened with an electronic sharpener,
tossing the brown shaved bits from ten years ago,
10 years ago was when depression halted my art.

in this circle protected from the fucked outside world,
i can draw the real orange sun however i like,
only i will test the limits of freedom,
i make the sun's curved rays simple lines if i want,
i own the sun now,
it was never yellow to begin with.

i think back, this is a window to my past,
when happiness was still a possibility,
when i began to enter special realms,
wondrous places of my imaginings, these worlds only i knew,
i was god, king, creator, ruler,
i stood over the people i created, lovingly, but with a six-year-old's easy command,
i drew my men and women and children how i wanted,
with those pointy noses that have become my signature,
i made them say what i wanted in my stories, i drew everything:
the houses, trees, shrubs, street lights and signs,
power cords as straight and black as the man's eyebrows,
My First Book, the first of many million more books penned and illustrated by me,
all words, all pictures just by me, always, let no one else sully my image,
it was the dictatorial start of something harrowing
but exhilarating at the same time, a little kid
rejecting this world in favor of his own.
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8 comments:

AtiyaLuv said...

I can give you some love scars Phoenix *grins*~

Aluv

the late phoenix said...

thanks, i was getting lonely

AtiyaLuv said...

I am always around *grins* specially around you!!!
and yes Goosebumps was the shizzles back in da days!

besos Phoenix!!

the late phoenix said...

Blogland just isn't what it used to be...i mean, did everyone take a three-week hiatus vacation to the Bahamas and forget to dump me in the car trunk?

Juliette said...

Feeling your pain. That, was very well written. Tortured artist style.

the late phoenix said...

Juliette: babe, i am the sole embodiment of the Tortured Starving Artist, nobody understands me.

sorry if i'm being forward by calling you babe...

Cheeky Minx said...

Your words, your world have left me breathless and longing to join you there.

Gorgeous, babe. Just gorgeous... :*

the late phoenix said...

cheeky, you are the best birthday gift a man can get on this day, you are the best ever...well you and that original Nintendo grey box i got back in the day which started this whole my imagination thing.