Monday, March 18, 2013

TMIT: EVERYBODY EVERYWHERE WITH THEIR DAMN PHONES ALL THE TIME












1. what made the best sex partner you've ever had so good? it was familiar, it was almost as if i knew the person, knew what made the person tick in bed, like his hand was connected to my body...

2. what made the worst sex partner you've ever had so bad? just the fact that she saw me naked, forever that could be used to blackmail me, as long as the two of us lived...

3. who was the most physically-attractive person you've ever had sex with? Olivia Wilde, tune in on Friday for my birthday-day post to see if i'm able to post that Olivia gif everyone's been raving about.

4. how was it? like a dream...

5. who was the least-physically attractive person you've ever had sex with?

things learned from this past weekend:

* iphones, screens in general, have become the new Jesus.
* being an internet troll is fun for one day, then the law of diminishing returns takes hold. it's like that Looney Tunes scene, it was the greatest trick ever, but it can only be performed once...the guy blows himself up.
* if a youtube comment isn't commented upon, does it even exist at all?
* don't spend too much time at urbandictionary.com, i literally spent seven hours simply coming up with ALL the possible word combinations of the letters friokjkjhsy, seeing which were real word entries and which i could claim i invented first.
* do you think fellow bloggers can really, TRULY meet in real life, become boyfriend/girlfriend and eventually marry? i really need to know this. if not, i'm leaving come summer...

6. why did you do it? desperate...and human...a desperate human...porn only goes so far

7. how was it? best sex of my life

bonus: describe a bad sexual experience you admit was your fault: tiptoed to the Papal Conclave in my Batman suit deliberately handcuffed in the back waiting for my Catwoman to spring the lock, only she had the key. obviously got the wrong directions, i wasn't paying close attention, my bad...though the Cards and i did shoot the breeze about how red robes are cooler than crime-fighting pajamas and that Batman is in a sense a Christ figure for today's pimply fat internet youth.

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4 comments:

Missed Periods said...

I can relate to the teacher/cell phone cartoon!

the late phoenix said...

twittering should never be allowed during class, unless the tweet is a DM from the student to the teacher about their secret affair.

Hedone said...

The mentos photo is funny

1. OMG! OMG! I lost it on that one. :D

5. The urban dictionary thing--you've got too much time on your hands. ahh okay, you were taking break from porn, understandable.

Bonus: *big smile*

I always have fun here. Have a great week,

-H

the late phoenix said...

H: oh boy do I ever have too much time, The Big Decision comes summer...or earlier. Mentos meme cleans my teeth better than a root canal