Monday, January 14, 2013

TMIT: UH, YES...I'M FROM CALIFORNIA...I'M NORMAL

HOLLYWOOD! it's so much fun to work in Hollywood! *singing and humming rest of song* oh, yes, my Hollywwod dreams will come true, i won't end up another statistic, mark my words, my writing will make me famous and not another famous statistic. old Hollywood, the glamour, the dames...and, y'know, there's also the porn industry there, too, so...yeah, just in case as a second option.
tons of celebrity sex tapes have been made available to the public, through devious means or otherwise. have you taken a gander at any of these?: Pamela Anderson/Bret Michaels...Paris Hilton and that Solomon kid...Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, the grand-daddy of them all, the Rose Bowl Sex Tape...Kim K and Ray J, the one i so desperately wished had a nice cumshot ending...and Kendra Wilkinson and some lucky dude named Frye's Electronics...have i seen these? all of them? that's like asking if a Smurf's butt is blue. it's me, my babies, it's me, the late phoenix, of course i've seen these, i live and breathe for these.
all about sex photography and video:
1. did you ever pose for pictures of a sexual nature, or photograph a lover? IN-N-OUT BURGER, that famous Cali joint, Monday and Wednesday nights, no charge if you come with the ducketts, out in the parking lot, ROW C-3
2. did you keep said pics private amongst yourselves or did you share the pics with the world? share, yes, the world, no...my cat saw them.
3. did any of them ever get out in public with embarrassing results? let's just say that i am a laughingstock in the feline community, they all know where my pimples lie, i can't go out to buy milk anymore, the milk i use to coax them back to my favor, i leave a little pink saucer of milk by my doorstep, those kitties are so cute when they're lapping up the milk with their little tongues like that.
4. were you ever videotaped having sex? once, in college, all of the good and the bad of my life now stems from my college experience, in case you're new to me here.
5. if so, was the tape ever made public? i suspect a black cat.
6. were you ever photographed or taped without your knowledge? no, i'm pathetic, i just want to be seen as a base sexual object by someone, ANYONE!!!
bonus: post a picture of a body part: DOES NIPPLE COUNT? simply go below to any of my SSS posts at my blog here, click on the front image, and stare at my wondrous nipple for eternity.
CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY
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12 comments:

Ms. B said...

Row C-3, huh! In-N-Out is quite a fav with their squishy little buns, can’t get them anywhere else!

Oh, those little pussycats, so devious! I bet your pictures are shared throughout So Cal and you are already famous and you didn’t even know it yet!

And, look at that… your definition says it all: the late phoenix - A master of his world, a creator, a god. Sexy as hell, too! Oh, God, here comes the late phoenix... *faint* There are no examples or words for him!

the late phoenix said...

squishy little buns, that was my nickname in college...

please pray for my kitty, my baby, my cat, she has one more day to live, stroke, I loved her. RIP

I'm being serious now, I'm not joking this time.

AtiyaLuv said...

you are just too much!
I am going hunting for black cats!
for some reason the Janet Jackson song came to mind
Black cat
Nine lives
Short days
Long nights
Livin on the edge
Not afraid to die

te amo Phoenix!!
I lover your nipples!! both of them!

Aluv

Silverdrop said...

It's cold, dark and wet in this corner of the UK this morning, but you brought us a laugh - thankyou.

Kazi G said...

Sure, go ahead, blame the pussy cats! they'll get you in the end you know, their claws are sharp ;)

And may your kitty go to a happy place where there is a ready supply of catnip and yarn. I'm a cat person too, and sorry to hear of your impending loss :'(

:*

~Kazi xxx

the late phoenix said...

atiya: i call Janet Miss Nasty if i'm normal

drop: i'm laughing through the tears

kazi: let's see how my cat feels today...

Hedone said...

Photo #2 is HOT

1. YOu are so crazy. Pssst! I'll be there.

5. buwhahahaha!

You know I love your nipples. I so want to tweak them :)

-H

Angelwithatwist said...

Umm hello I do have you in fantasies just so ya know.. LOTS of them. I am so sorry about your cat hun. My dog died earlier last week from being poisoned. I am pretty sure the neighbors have been dumping crap into our creek again. I was livid. By the time we found her there was nothing the vet could do so we brought her home to go where she was loved and petted on. It sucks.

Ms. B said...

Are you really, really being serious?! Sometimes I just have no idea, I thought you were joking but now I question it. And, my insensitivity to your love.

Squishy buns in college, huh. I'm sure you have pictures of that, too!

I don't know if my comment went through but I meant that from http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=the+late+phoenix

Kazi, that was too funny!

Missed Periods said...

I am so very sorry about your cat.

the late phoenix said...

H: Row c-3 has just been booked solid, everyone, please move over to c-4

twist: thank you for everything

B: i have the Tim and Eric problem of determining seriousness

missed: just your comment alone has helped soothe me

Ms. B said...

I see that, and it confuses people. But, we like to be confused by your mysterious brilliance.