Monday, June 18, 2012


1. what star sign are you? ARIES, the strong-as-fuck ram, i'm a ram in the bedroom, i fuck with wild abandon, i also suck like the Rams in the NFL...suck

2. do you believe in horoscopes? sure, but i also believe in magic, otherwise i wouldn't continue to honor my Thursday Night Dungeons and Dragons conclave i'm in where i'm the Head Adventurer or something like that

3. when is your birthday? i'll never tell...*shit-eating grin*

4. what's the worst birthday gift a partner has given you? a book about pheromones which ended up convincing me i was in fact an insect. only after continuous viewings of THE FLY was i able to come out of it, but now i have the cadence and mannerisms of Jeff Goldblum, so i don't know which is worse.

5. are you organized when it comes to other people's birthdays? okay, once again playing under the guise that i have real flesh friends, not just computer "friends": yes, oh yes, why yes, i am very loyal to people who voluntarily consider me their friend, i take that seriously, i honor and respect them, i would never, say, schedule their birthday party the same Sunday as Sunday at the US OPEN GOLF 2012. okay, that was me, i skipped out on Tony's birthday party to be the dude who screamed "Yabba Dabba Doo!" at Graeme McDowell as Graeme went for this golf stroke.

6. how do you normally celebrate your birthday? i treat myself to an empty box and play as a baby or young cat would play with the box

7. if you could be one age again, what would it be and why? zero, because to experience age zero is to experience God.

8. what would be your ideal birthday treat? gather together all of my blog followers, box of wine, orgy, and let my blog lurkers, just the lurkers, the ones who come visit me but never leave a comment, let them clean up the mess afterwards.

bonus: tell us your best birthday memory: 1994, right after the Cobain suicide, my best friend in the whole world, a friend i loved with a love i've yet to experience since, had his birthday party just two weeks after the suicide...i didn't feel like celebrating, i let my friend down, i was dead inside, my hero was gone, and my other hero was disappointed in me...good times, good times

bonus bonus: may we see you in your birthday suit? post a photo: yes, just come here every Wednesday for a new TNH of me, it's as simple as that.




Anonymous said...

As usual, your gpaphics and commentary are so so so funny. I love this one:

Jeff Goldblum has gotten sexy as he gotten older, though the last few years he's a little affected.

6. Where did that come from? Nearly peed my pants laughing.


Anonymous said...

Ahhh you're too cute! I love number 8! The pictures were fun but your answers were even better. I'm very much looking forward to that birthday treat ;-)

Vincent Vega said...

Your birthday celebration with the box sounds like a great time!

I like the idea of having all lurkers clean up after us!

Jack and Jill said...

I've always been happy to be a Leo, but after reading your answer to #1 I guess Aries would have been more appropriate.

I remember when I used to have real flesh friends. I wonder whatever became of them.


Anonymous said...

It's my first visit! Honest! *passes dustpan and brush to nearest lurker* and I bought Wine! *brandishes bottle* :-D

Gemma Jones said...

OK so I am leaving a comment so I don't have to clean up after the party!

Seriously I love the way you don't take the world ore yourself too seriously. You have made me smile today.

Atiya Luv said...

#1 I have ten things to say about Aries that I found...and they all remind me of you!!
1. You're not hiding anything
2. You're forver young
3. Your passion makes you sexy
4. You are courageous
5. you're the alpha
7. you're dangerous
8. You've got street stmarts
9. You're a riot
10. You believe in new beginnings!!

seriously all you!!!

2. I believe in magic too!!!

3. At least we know you were born between March 21 and April 19!!!

4. Pheromones are great! feeling like a bug..not so much..and YES Jeff Goldblum..yummy, the older he gets the more i want him...

5. hahaha, goes back to the list...#9

6. call me so I can play with you, I love babies and cats *grins

7. I love that answer!!

8. I am down!!!


the late phoenix said...

H: Jeff Goldblum is the man, he's a pimp, i'm serious about this, i want to be him

LIR: you'd be the guest of honor at my party...if you know what i mean...

vv: i love my lurkers, but they be workin'

jj: i'm sure they tasted great.

muse: ha :D love you, baby, you can keep the wine, i want to snort some of that dustpan dust

gemma: hi, babe, please comment more often, i love your busty avatar, and, well,

atiya: thanks for the detailed response, loved reading it, can i come over tonight? i've got a special evening planned with just you and me inside an empty box, it's not creepy, it'll be sexy, you'll see.

Anonymous said...

I've come to creepily stalk you - and love finding you making love to each of us here lol... yes please about being the guest of honour! I would very much enjoy that ;-)

Mia Wallace said...

2. It's funny how you go on and on about D and D, then end it with "something like that." :-)
8. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your lurker comment!!! Brilliant idea!
Bonus: I too was pretty distraught about the Cobain suicide (ahem, when Courtney had him killed...)
Bonus, Bonus: Hehehe, you pimped your blog on your blog! Thumbs up!

the late phoenix said...

LIR: my little blog has gone global, that's awesomesauce!

mia: i've read all the conspiracy books and seen all the conspiracy films, and i agree with every single conspiracy...