Monday, June 4, 2012


1. what's the kinkiest thing about you, either mentally or physically? mentally: i've calculated in my mind mathematically that i am in fact the awesomest human being who has ever lived. physically: just this weekend i wrapped my penis around a fire hydrant twice around to help my fellow bro firemen out in dousing a house fire, it's just something that happened, y'know?

2. any fetishes? still recovering from a Popovich-level NASTY flu bug, it was coming out of both ends, so at this very moment, i have this fetish of NOT having strange liquids pouring from out my body, it's this hot thing where if you buy me some Flintstones vitamins, i'll have enough iron to repair all of the clogged pipes in me, man that is so sexy to me. you would look like a million dollars if you did me that favor, you'd be my sexy little nurse in white

3. ever been spanked? enjoy it? do tell: yes, by my Mommy...when my hand was in the cookie jar before dinner...happened yesterday...didn't enjoy it...humiliated actually

4. ever been tied up or tied someone up? ropes or restraints? no, and i have to say i'm not sure i'd be into that, unless it was a very special person, like, say, the person who is reading this now at this very moment. yeah, i don't know, ropes just aren't my bag, i've never been proper mountain-climbing, though i absolutely adore the word "carabiner".

5. are you more dominant, submissive, switch, or vanilla? chocolate, i like chocolate, i like the chocolate,

6. what's the kinkiest thing you've ever done? barged into a college lecture hall with just my Lisa Simpson drawers on and declared my undying love for this girl i had just met two days before. i thought she'd be impressed that Lisa Simpson is my role model in life: Lisa's smart, strong-willed, Buddhist, but the girl paid me no mind. remember, this was before youtube videos and this sort of staged act becoming commonplace. the professor was steamed and escorted me out of the room, but later after discussing Nietzsche with him, he became my escort.

7. ever been to a BDSM club? well? if not, would you? how about a virtual BDSM club where you gather stranger members on their keyboards to come together at a fixed time and place every week to have fun and get down with each other. wait, that's already...we have that already, it's called TMIT.

8. favorite fetish item/implement? a whip made of leprechaun hair

9. favorite kinky clothing material? heavy wool

10. thigh boots, love 'em or hate 'em? on me, not so much. on you, YES. on *THAT*, oh hell no! no, fuck no, fuck this shit, i'm out...

11. does anyone else know that you're kinky or is it a closely-guarded secret? closely-guarded, no one knows, not even my Mommy, it's just me and my followers...

12. what are your personal limits? none, i just ask that you truly love me as you whip the fuck out of me, that you really see me in your heart of hearts as you beat me savagely, know that i am your one true love as you bite my neck.

13. what's your safeword and why did you choose that one? DON'T STOP is my safeword...yeah, it gets confusing when you're with me

14. which fetishes do you just not get? return-to-when-you-were-a-baby i get, you want to be loved and cared for without having the burden of adult responsibilities, it's that return-to-being-a-teenager fetish i can't grasp, i mean, what's the point? my 30-year-old friend is into that stuff, i saw him just recently buying a whole bagful of zit cream at the store...all i could do was shake my head.

bonus: complete this sentence: to me, fetish, kink, and BDSM means: my 10:30 has cancelled




Anonymous said...

Lol, funny list and you're an interesting character.

On one hand your blog is all about sex and fetishes - but you very cleverly sidestep the direct questions about you. It makes me curious ;-)

Jack and Jill said...

I used to love taking Flintstones vitamins when I was a kid. It always bugged me that there was no Betty Rubble vitamin as she's the character I most wanted to eat. Certainly more than Barney, anyway.

Funny; I also mentioned stealing cookies in my answer to #3. Sorry your mom still gets pissed off about that. And our answers for #13 are eerily similar as well. That comforts me; nice to know someone else is as demented as I am. Or almost, anyway.

I like the idea of TMI Tuesday being our virtual BDSM club. After all, we're bound to participate, week in and week out.


the late phoenix said...

LIR: as my escort professor friend and i were discussing Nietzsche, we were reminded of his famous quote: don't stare too hard into the abyss, for you might find the abyss staring back at you.

jj: next time you're eating Betty Rubble, please PLEASE invite me over...

Anonymous said...

Sound idea, I'm sure... however, I've never been good at taking advice, and I'm definitely still curious ;-)

Mrs. M said...

Hilarious! I laughed out loud more than once. And, I too love the Flintstone Vitamins! :-)

the late phoenix said...

mrs. m: come to find out, the Flintstones vitamins were actually making me sicker...uh, my life, my life...

Anonymous said...

I want it every day. I rarely get it. I keep thinking its okay to have a boyfriend if its just for sex, right? Then I think Oh right. No I guess not, thats the whole point. Id be more annoyed if my husband cheated on me and it was all romantic than if it was just straight sex. This has nothing to do with your post, I just wanted to say it and it fits more on your blog than mine. LOL

the late phoenix said...

trixie: unload here any time you want, babe, i love it when you visit