Monday, June 11, 2012
TMIT: THE MOST TIMES...I'VE PLAYED TMIT
we want to know all of these things you've done the most times:
1. sex position you've been in the most? lotus reverse cowmanservant chandelier-flying-dutchman The Joy Of Sex-stealing-under-the-covers eternal drillbit Naked Twister Clue That's How You Jenga!!! double-position
2. what book have you read the most? Lebron James is my hero, and since he reads The Hunger Games before every one of his pressure-filled playoff games, i do the same. i turn a blind eye to the fact that The Hunger Games is a rip-off of Battle Royale, i do so because Lebron James is my hero in life and basketball, i was one of the ones who burned his jersey...
3. what movie have you watched the most? why, The Hunger Games of course, because of Lebron and not because there just happens to be a smoking hot babe in the lead in these movies, a gorge chick who graced the cover of my Rolling Stone Magazine and i've never looked back since.
4. in the last week, who have you texted (no names, but give us their relationship-status to you)?: i am here to name names, and i don't text people, i'm too poor for that, i email folks, and i've emailed some of my bestest friends in life this past week, one person whom i met just this week. we talk about the old country, the old times, the ways honest men and women used to fuck each other (over).
5. in the last week, what food have you eaten?: the new Taco Bell nacho crunch burrito thingy that i saw advertised, i'm a sucker, see, i basically only take pleasure from fast food, which i can afford only once a week, so if there's something new advertised in a commercial from any of the usual chains, Wendy's has chili cheese fries, McDonald's has that new berry slushie, whatever it is, i go for it, 'cause during the week, my palate is such that i eat the same three meals all week, no variety, no taste, it's all just tepid chicken soup and rancid salad, i need food help, i need a good cookbook to lend me ideas on more variety in my diet, i need Continental Cuisine and exotic veal and fish that is captured and left to marinate for forty years before being served, folks, help me, i need food help, i need food ideas, my tongue is begging you!
6. today, which website have you visited?: the one i always visit, the one where i cull all of the hot porn vids i use in my PORN LESSONS posts i do which apparently are very popular with my readers according to the inner stats and charts of this blog:
that's where all the action is, if you ever get bored, as you can see from that graph up there, it's a successful site that's doing well for itself, it's living the American Dream.
7. when dining out, where have you eaten? your luscious cunt
8. which sex toy have you used? i don't use sex toys, they're too expensive, and i've developed a bitter taste to them because i constantly get spammed with their email offers of this or that sex toy from a sex shoppe that i'm apparently a gold-card member of even though i've never heard of them before. i use the sexiest organ there is, my skin, or is it my brain? whatever, you know what i mean, i use my sexy imagination...
bonus: is there something you'd love to go back and relive in your sexual past? i wasn't always the meek loner blogger that you know and love presently, i used to not need a blog to live, i was a confident man, as you can see from the two pictures above. i started each morning welcoming the sunshine, bursting out my front door, standing squarely on my lawn and raising my two arms straight up to the sky with a confident look in my eyes and a confident grin on my face. i was so confident, as you can see in that pic there, i was able to control the shadows of Planet Earth with my feet, it was awesome, it was cool, it was like that shadow-controlling jutsu from Naruto
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