Monday, September 23, 2019

TMIT: CARING FOR YOUR KEURIG



1. what makes you insecure? John Bolton

also, not having any money ever my entire life

2. what do you expect from a romantic love relationship?

to love me forever, stay with me forever, never leave me, and never die. like that Golden Girls episode

3. what do you expect from a friendship?

let's be honest, friendship is really the best connection you can make in life. they're the ones who stay the longest anyway, right? if there's one thing i've learned my 50 years on this Earth, it's this: friendship is fickle, mates are meaningful. it's only a real friendship if it's a Skins UK mateship. it only counts if Cook makes it official with his handshake by dropping your trousers, grabbing a handful of your balls, and shaking them in the middle of the Skins party under the English cave...

4. what do you expect from a friends-with-benefits situation?

for years into my adulthood i really thought this the perfect relationship between two people. i figured it was the sex without the messy commitments, the lust without the love. what the fuck was i thinking? like seriously. i think the years of depression slowly chipped away warping my brain without my notice. OF COURSE LOVE is the only thing that matters in human existence!

i looked on the relationship between Greenlee and Josh Duhamel on All My Children as my guide and avatar. that one scene where the two get stuck together in the glasses room of the glass skyscraper fine-dining overhanging garden restaurant and they talk over sharing cabbies. not NYC taxicabs, cabernet sauvignons. and Josh remarks that at least a feeling is instilled in people over him---hate---whereas Greenleee can't manage to make anyone feel ANYTHING about her.

ah, those were the days. nowadays when it comes to FWB, i look for medical, dental, workman's comp, and especially psychiatric...

5. what expectations do you have for yourself?

like my mom says, opening your eyes to the sun one more day is a blessing every time it happens. of course soon the sun will crash into the Earth...

BONUS: post one picture (art, photograph, drawing) that depicts how you feel today:

picture a drawing of Homer Simpson in a tophat tux and tails playing the piano at the Emmys...

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