1. what is your reality? doesn't exist
2. will you have sex today? this week? probably never
3. what did you hate doing this past weekend? cleaning out my garage. no that isn't code for anything, i really had to do it. twenty years of clutter. boxes full of books of long-forgotten lore. shelves filled with priceless plastic china. stacks upon stacks of old dirty clothes and pristine never-before-used cookware collecting dust so to capacity the mites left. and they are mighty. i need so many large black bags it's like a crime scene. the collectors accidentally took my large white Macy's bags when i dropped them off. there's some societal metaphor buried in there somewhere.
4. what did you love doing this past weekend? clearing out my garage. the basement needed it. it's gonna take nine more passes but at least i can swim in it now. don't worry the dungeon wasn't damaged. it's good to work up a good sweat every once in awhile.
5. what new technology have you found most helpful in your life? which do you find to be the most annoying? the Internet has destroyed the world.
1. you are gonna make a sexy weekend with your lover, which one are you most likely to enjoy? which of the activities is most likely to happen? a) cook dinner together b) play a sexy game c) take a bath together. i love to cook. i think. i never have the time but i'd gladly do it. the only dirty game i know is pinochle obviously. i don't do bath bombs anymore. that sparkling Lush 'Niner golden-nugget hunk of soap was so harsh it attracted giant slimy worms into my small bathroom. still waiting on my first rainfall showerhead...
2. will you watch porn this weekend? alone or with someone? it's the same feeling with or without someone. shame. i make my own porn...
3. sexy games---pick one you'd like to play. why?
a) naked twister or
b) strip trivial pursuit
the thing is, whenever i answer a hard question right my penis goes flaccid cos i'm using all the blood for my brain
4. Friday night you hit happy hour, you meet a super sexy man/woman and the two of you chat and laugh the night away. she/he leans into you and says "you're irresisitible, can i touch your pussy/cock?" what is your answer?
catch: it's a Tinder date. second catch: you are a robot.
5. what do you really have planned for this weekend? Tim & Eric's Bedtime Stories and dancing to the new Sunday Night Football intro. i wore that flowing red dress way better than Carrie.
6. does this TMI on a Friday have you changing your weekend plans? BRING BACK TGIF!!!
bonus: what do you like to do on the weekend but never seem to get the chance? watching Monster in a Box.......................don't bother, i already checked, it's not on Netflix................anymore...
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