Wednesday, September 6, 2017


Lady Liberty: i just hope everyone is okay.

Kim: get down! it's the end of the world!

Lady Liberty: what?

Kim continues holding the Statue's hand.

Kim tries to stop drop and cover but forgets he's in water and screws up the dive and loses his breath.

Kim: sorry, it was the only film i was allowed to see as a kid. Bert the Turtle was my imaginary pet.

Kim: look!

the eye of Hurricane Irma floats over Kim's head.

Kim: isn't she lovely? her bands are my favorite bands. she must be a hurricane in bed, swirling like that all the time. she's winking at me!

Lady Liberty: Kim don't do anything rash.

Kim: i must, my love. this is the only woman i've loved. this is my only chance to be with a white woman. i will follow in the footsteps of my father and his father before him. we all loved just one film, it was my dad's favorite and my granddad's favorite.

Lady Liberty: her water is white but kinda toxic.

Kim stands in the middle of the ocean and raises his hands. the eye sucks him up onto the nearest fiercest windband of the storm. Kim dons his cowboy hat and bucks Irma to oblivion.

Lady Liberty: i'll drown the rest of your stockpile of rockets for you, i'm good at that.

Kim: they were never rockets, babe, they were rides.

Vlad in a hardhat: and this is the bell-mouth spillway. looks cool, huh?

Bump: i'm attracted to holes.

Vlad: it's called the ladyblower.

Bump: Vlad you're my best friend. onto Hendricks Park, Oregon?

Vlad: the redhead with the knockers won't be there, Mr. President. remember, prisol is the umbrella, pristol is the Romanian commune, both things you handle. President, you provide the shade for us, U.S.

Bump has a memory flashback in the style of Link in Breath of the Wild:

Bump as a boy is playing handball against the brick wall of his father's mansion. he is lonely and miserable and stains the lapel of his bluebottomed shirt with his crying sleeve.

Bump boy: i just want someone to play with me.

he picks his nose and a rose in the crack of the wall but it begins to wilt in his stubby hand. Codrus appears behind the wall and turns into a little girl. the girl cheeries up to Bump and rosies her way to the rose.

Bump: you are so chipper. it's a gift.

girl: i'm a woman that's all. you like my disguise?

Bump flounders.

girl: as a breaker of hearts. i can't break the wall.

the girl grabs the rose and plants a big kiss on Bump's cheek. Bump closes his eyes and circles his mouth and girl-Codrus disappears with a long smirk.

JUST THEN a small Russian exchange student saddles up to Bump to play with him.

Russian orphan: please, sir, i haven't had milk in ages.

Bump: you must be the new kid. i'm home-schooled. thanks, dad.

as Bump tries to kiss the boy in kind to return the favor from the girl, paying it forward, Bump is just coming into his powers. Bump begins to glow sparkle for the first time on his yellowing fingertips as he goes to serve the red ball. the power is too much for the weakened immune system of the Russian boy and he drops dead on the spot of the newly-paved black asphalt.

Vlad: *mumbling to himself in KGB* why couldn't it have been Albert? Albert was made fun of his whole childhood and it damaged him. that's where Prince Albert comes from. he became a double agent. he was too damaged to become a triple agent. why did it have to be my favorite brother Viktor? why couldn't it have been Steven Seagal?

at the weather center, it's Hurricane Center! Goody Paul saddles up to his love in a blanket to ride out the storm. and huddles up with her.

Erika: are you sure it's safe to be out here in the middle of the ocean like this Paul? i'm certain it's not.

Goody: call me Goody. nothing is too good for my witch wife. we are just 100 miles from the beach. where i'm preparing your favorite by the cauldronfire. newt. Gingrich.

Erika: i don't eat people, that's a misnomer. you know who i am, right? i'm a meteorologist.

Goody: *shakes his head* no we are all meterologists, that doesn't mean anything. that doesn't distinguish us.

Erika: no but i have a degree. a phD. i'm a doctor. i'm Dr. Erika Navarro.

Goody takes another look at her legs.

Goody: helloooooooooooooooooo nurse! i mean doctor! doctor doctor bring me the news! wait you have one of those weird doctorates in weather? i thought only man doctors could get those.

Erika: Irma is approaching. i can feel her. both with my witch powers and scientifically. and she ain't no hurricane. she's a sign. she's a signal. she's a beast!

Goody: you said her. we stopped being sexist with hurricane names long ago.

Erika: but she's Irma, she's a she. she's a woman.

Goody: and you're a woman. touche. *hugs*

Erika: i did all this learning to get close to you. so our converstaions could survive the initial storm surge of sex. will you do the same for me? will you learn witchcraft? will you be my sacrifice?

Goody: what?

Erika: just kissing uh kidding.

Goody: love you.

Erika: love you.

and the couple gets swept up.


in space, the whale of penny-farthings has solidified. it has replaced its eyewall and is headed to the only cycle it knows. it's a glorious vision in outer space.

the hooded figure: not many can take in the grand scope of a giant whale all at once. you either need a bigger boat or better glasses. but everyone can see her eye. in fact it's the first and sometimes only thing one sees of the magnificent beast. that one eye in one side staring into your tiny soul. with her empathy and station as queen of the ocean. and you feel for the first time you are not alone. cos you've never known that.

the Men From the East are salivating on their master's every word, cramped in with their captain in close quarters eating the same loaf of airy air-bread.


the Men: sir you have been fed a lie. you weren't captured. you captured our hearts. you could have left at any time. but secretly we were begging you to stay. we wished that you'd fill our lives with something new, different, and exciting. we prayed though we were godless. we had never witnessed beauty such as you. we needed you as much as you needed us. we hoped against hope. cos that's all we are in the end. stuck in a world of motors. unfinished plans.

the hooded figure: you needed a softer format.

the Men all bow in unison.


outside, in space, the horse's two tails light up the black shadow of their star trail like two heating meteors.

the horse: wait let's see something.

the horse cheekily undoes her bridle and trots out on her own. she twirls uncontrollably in the vacuum of space. her one wing acts as the point of a spinning top. she quickly reluctantly bites her roman reigns.

horse: you'd think there'd be at least some gravity by now. great, just great.


Jules said...

Kim has a cowboy hat? Well, I think it’s a good idea because it will cover his hair and stop Lady Liberty from swooning. *)

the late phoenix said...

that guy is a fox.......who's not crazy but going through a rough time.

love ya, mah dahlin *)