1. if you are on facebook, when was the last time you had to "unfriend" someone and why? unfriend is such a new unfriendly word. me. let me explain. facebook is the only platform i haven't tried yet. tho i kinda had to cos they kinda force you to sign up or you can't see the comments. so i have a profile that's perfectly blank. the first question they asked me is if i wanted to unfriend anyone. they explained the parameters of the unfriend: the rude racism, the flatearthers, the questioning of manhood, the servile slurs, the hair-raising harassment. i thought trolls were cute and had raised hair. the inability to know whether this person is serious or just blowing off steam. they fit the description of me so i unfriended myself. i got excited when i got a couple of female pokers but facebook explained to me that everyone online is male. y'know the CIA spies on you through facebook. they respond to you. or maybe they respond to you if you visit the CIA facebook page and leave a comment.
2. what are you addicted to? not being addicted to instagram. surely the stories will go on whether or not you use this or that platform. and whether or not they are over deadline. the stories will continue, somewhere. they write themselves, practically.
3. what are the first 3 things you do every morning? pump me some absinthe mouthwash, brush the last of the enamel off my teeth, and take a look at the cavernous pink wasteland that is my palate. it's really just a collection of holes now where the roots used to be. i will not have a mouth soon. it's like an alien ocarina in there. the winds flow freely caressing my tongue and forming sounds. i try not to think about it...
4. how lucky are you and why? not very. i just won the lottery. which necessitates me being a loner.
5. what is one thing you're embarrassed to admit you want to try? facebook
bonus: are you proud of what you are doing? no, but someone has to write these stories. dirty jobs, aye Mike Rowe?
take a moment out of your busy day today and think about why you are standing here.
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