Friday, January 22, 2016



* E=mc2, formula for beer, right?

* Fred: there's a lotta bush gonna be sold!
Barney: so we're at the bar right now, right? not the prostitution den? it's just i don't want to get on Betty's bad side.

* Barney: 5 o'clock. quitting time.
Fred: there's a quitting time? the afterwork rush is upon us. let's get behind the bar and serve these people.
Barney: but why do we have to do this?
Fred: just go with it.

* Barney: the beer business is hard work. got a smoke?
Fred: here you go, one of these cigarettes is like smoking 20 of these cigarettes.

* Mr. Slate enters. Fred and Barney dress up in disguises.
Fred: what kind of beer, sir?
Mr. Slate: um, you're clearly not women, you're just affecting really weird, halfhearted accents.

* Barney: how about some raises for your key men? here, have some Busch, stranger, it'll do you good. don't worry, it's not spiked.

* magical woman's hand appears above and rubs Mr. Slate's head.
Mr. Slate: wow, you have a really seductive voice. but i'm married.
woman's hand: i know, i'm your wife!
Mr. Slate: oh.

* Barney: have some more Busch, stranger, it'll do you good. this one is spiked.

* Mr. Slate: Fred, Barney, don't be late tomorrow morning!
Fred: but sir, why did you stick around if you knew all along?
Mr. Slate: for the handjob.

* Fred: *trademark laugh* Busch is the best!
Barney: i don't know, he seems kind of low-energy to me.

* Fred throws the bird like a dart.
dart bird: you do realize i'm a baby pterodactyl, right? i'm gonna grow up and eat you. karma is a new concept in these times but it's still a bitch.


happy weekend


Jules said...

Mass = volume x density which means...lots of beer drank at lots of pubs renders you stupid. So much so you don't recognise your own wife. I think that's a ploy. *)

the late phoenix said...

juli mah dahlin: in vino veritas. stone-cold sober reality is a lie. God is offended. it's a good thing Einstein invented wine *)