* narrator: don't stick out your tongue, Vault Boy, that's not falling malt balls!
* narrator: the fallout will turn ordinary citizens into decrepit rotting beings who've lost their ability to reason.
Vault Boy: politicians.
narrator: they will be without common manners and quick to anger.
Vault Boy: voters.
* narrator: enthusiasm will only take you so far. do you know the percentage chance of shooting that zombie?
Vault Boy: yeah, 100%, but i don't feel like shooting that zombie today. from now on, please address me as Vault Emo Boy.
* narrator: let's try that again.
Vault Boy: nobody understands me. i don't care about this stupid video game. holy fuck, did i just come back from the dead?! now REALLY nobody understands me.
narrator: tell you what, finish the rest of these promos and i'll give you Lazarus's number.
* narrator: watch your penis there, Vault Boy, there may be a Vault Girl...
* Vault Boy: i'm a fuckin' underground ninja.
huge mutant rats attack Vault Boy.
Vault Boy: why, Master Splinter, why?
* Vault Boy balances himself above with his finger plugging the mouth of the bottle.
Vault Boy: this is my yoga. this is also how i avoid becoming an alcoholic.
* Vault Boy assaults an unsuspecting dreamer.
unsuspecting dreamer: i am you sleeping! you just killed yourself.
Vault Boy: that's deep. but this is all a dream, right?
unsuspecting dreamer: yes. now go out there and live your dreams!
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