* Barney (talking to himself): Betty's beating the fuck out of that rug. don't get on her bad side. just a mental note.
* Fred: the wives sure do work hard, huh?
Barney: yeah. wanna go help them?
* Barney: i'm bored all the time, Fred. no matter what i do, nothing energizes me. i'm dying, buddy.
Fred: *trademark laugh* nah, nobody every died of boredom. it's just life in the Stone Age.
Barney: do you think life will ever get better?
Fred: sure, once we get more technology. here, have a Winston Cigarette. now don't you feel better?
Barney: no, but i look cooler.
* Fred: yeah i know Winston, they come in all these delicious flavors like Fred Flintstone Fruit Punch, Wilma Watermelon, Barney Rubble Rhubarb, Betty Blueberry, and Dino Dill.
Barney: all i know is that my dad smoked.
* Fred: hey Barney ol' pal, what does the 20 on the box mean?
Barney: one smoke of this stuff is like smoking 20 cigarettes. also it takes 20 workers to make the tobacco specially selected and specially processed.
Fred: those 20 workers are living the dream...
* Wilma: are you trying to kill me, Fred?
Fred: WILMAAAAAAAAA! why would you say that, honey? i love you. let me light that cigarette for you.
Wilma: okay. just no more singing. you can't sing.
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