Monday, January 18, 2016


we are all special snowflakes. we are all different, that's what makes us all the same...

1. what are your sexual strengths and weaknesses? i'm a good sucker. i suck.

2. as a couple, what are your sexual strengths and weaknesses? i'm not a couple but i've been called a couple of things in my time. for the purposes of this question let's say i married someone. online. in a MMORPG. not saying i did, just saying for the sake of saying. it's like say Mario is El Chapo, Kate del Castillo is the Princess, and Sean Penn is Bowser. a lot of pipe was involved. would i do it? for Kate del Castillo, yes, she's adventurous. i'm not saying when Sean Penn mugs to the camera without makeup he looks like Bowser...

3. how do you make intimacy a priority in a relationship? send it through Priority Mail. the Post Office still exists, right?

4. how has your sex life changed in the last five years? no change. though i've found i'm a better overall typer, i make less typos which is good cos when you mean to type "nice shot" on instagram but type "neverending shit", you start to lose followers.


5. has blogging helped your sex life? how? tricky. blogging for me has always teetered on the edge. i look back on all that i've written over the years, the sheer volume of it, and wonder if any of it MEANS anything in the end. or is it all destined for the ether. i have met some awesomesauce folk through it, though, that's for sure. and some saucy folk. and some sauced folk.

bonus: has loneliness or emotional hunger ever caused you to "fall in love"?: what is love if not loneliness? what are emotions if not cancer-causing bacon burgers? what is flying if not falling? this sounds less lame when put to music. unfortunately my electric guitar's in the shop. along with my ipad mini. it's gonna come back as an ipad guitar with the naked fretboard and the ipad screen as the sound hole and strings, like that dude from Muse.



K.C. Cave said...

Funny guy! I larfed and I larfed!

Jules said...

Everything means something, my sweet. I want to hear that sung on youtube as soon as your iPad guitar comes back. *)

the late phoenix said...

KC Cave: *larf emoji* ;) HTMIT :)

juli mah dahlin: that ipad guitar's gonna be sweet. so sweet i won't play it, just stare at it. youtube's still a thing? let me check with the Post Office...*)