1. autumn or fall, which do you say? winter is coming
2. pumpkin spice, love it or hate it? what is pumpkin spice? is that like Hell Dust? (edit: yes it is.)
3. apples: seasonal treat or eat them all year? all year cos you never know when the occasion will present itself to tell off some asshole "how do you like them apples?!" (so you gotta always carry apples with you, in your pocket or something, not to eat, not for the health benefits, for the joke.)
4. where you live, do tree leaves change color in the fall? there is nothing more beautiful on this green earth than the autumn leaf color. it's like a motivational quote i saw just this morning on instagram: autumn leaves remind us that looking at dead things is cool.
5. in autumn truffles are popular in Italy, seafood is popular in Ireland, crayfish popular in Stockholm. what is a popular autumn food where you live? pumpkins. we scrape out all that sticky junk from their insides and then we pray for the spirits to inhabit these hollow rotting smelly gourds. that's what creates jack-o'-lanterns, everyone knows the legend, it's not the flickering candles you put inside them that breathe life into them, it's actual spirits. the spirits really appreciate being trapped in there all night, they told me so in a dream i had after some bad pumpkin pie.
6. scientists observed that the further a country is away from the equator, the more its residents are affected by the seasons. how do you feel in autumn/fall? depressed, rejuvenated, or some other emotion? depressed. there are other emotions?
7. strolls amid fall foliage are: a) romantic b) allergy-inducing c) dirty d) prime-time to "rustle the leaves" if you know what i mean *wink wink*: all of the above. nobody said love was easy.
8. what is your favorite autumn holiday, celebration, or activity? TPing. tomato-picking. we quietly wait for the neighborhood punks to toilet-paper our beautiful grand oak tree and say nor do nothing save for jotting down their names in a green notebook. then we gather the tomatoes (our oak produces tomatoes, it's a very special tree). then we go with our bushel of tomatoes to the annual Fall Festival where the punks are on the stage performing. we wait for the performance to end and then we stand up and...
bonus: do you go apple-picking in autumn? ever made out in an apple orchard? of course, i need to be prepared for bullies. everyone makes out in an apple orchard, that's how hot apple cider is made.
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