Monday, September 8, 2014


1. what is the one word in your vocabulary you use excessively? ironic, and ironically, i use it wrongly every time.

2. if you had a sex change, what part of your body would you want enhanced the most? balls. i don't have the balls to do anything.

3. not a sex change, but what part of your body do you want enhanced? i want it so long it wraps around my entire, long hair, rock-god long hair.

4. when was the last time you felt possessive about someone? i don't get possessive, it's a losing battle. if you love something, set it free: if it comes back to you, it was meant to be. if not, well, that's depressing.

5. when was the last time you got a wedgie and had to remove it in public? yesterday. the mall. i got these new underpants that have this heavy white inner lining mesh grid of tiny circles inside, they're more like swim trunks. they get up in all my cracks. the grid supposedly makes it breathable down there, but it would be more breathable if the grid just wasn't there at all. in fact it would be the most breathable if i didn't wear underpants. the mall cop let me swim around in them in the mall fountain. yep, they had to be swim trunks.

6. if the world froze for an afternoon and only you could move and no one else could move nor see you nor remember what you did, what would you do? swim in the mall fountain. cool, this is some Rod Serling Twilight Zone stuff, right in my wheelhouse. cool, get it? this isn't the plot of Disney's Frozen, is it? no spoilers please.

bonus: what is your favorite sex toy of 2014? upscale spa




Jules said...

If only you had the balls to grow your hair long, you'd be able to go pants free and there's a whole new kind of breathable going on. You could swim like an ice, ice baby in an upscale spa. The irony....wait?...*)

the late phoenix said...

juli: it's like Alanis sings: it's like ten thousand spoons the Doctor uses to duel Robin Hood or scoop some Sun cheese when all you need is a jelly knife *)