Monday, September 15, 2014


1. do you give pet names to anything? (significant other, car, breasts, penis, vagina): i would name my significant other, if i had one, Honeybunch after the Mertzes on I Love Lucy. on a side note, they despised each other in real life, huh? now that's acting. i name my penis Therein Lies The Rub.

2. is there a pet name you can't stand being called? Garbage Ass

3. has your body ever done something to you that you didn't (fully) understand? even if it was a first-time something? there's this piece of flesh/welt/growth/bubble thing that's been on my back for ages. i'm scared to remove it with a scissors or utensil or tool or something, i'd rather just let it breathe and breed. so far i seem to be fine and healthy with it on, in fact i had forgotten about it until this question came up. let me check again...yep, it's still there on my back...and...wait...there are two more? DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNNNNNN

4. what body part do you spend the most time on? (grooming, applying): my back. i use that backscratcher above there twice a day. for perspective, i eat breakfast only once a day. i make sure my one back hair is nice and groomed, and...there are two more? DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN

5. the name of the best lover you've ever had: you.

6. have you ever taken an ex back? i wish...

bonus: what's your biggest concern in the world today? there's just this sense that, ultimately, we're all doomed, y'know?




Jules said...

I'm interested in the breeding, baby Phoenixeseseses! Maybe, one day, you will explode into a million versions of yourself. Then what will you do?

You don't take exes back, they're exes for a reason.

We are all doomed, on that I concur...with all of you *)

the late phoenix said...

juli: i'm interested in breeding with the Breeders as background music. the first thing you do is determine who the leader of the Pieces is. that will take a lifetime, so you better take some snacks along: Reese's Pieces, apple newtons, monk chocolate, stuff like that.

i want to be the nice guy who is still friends with all of his exes.

yep, i have one foot in the monastery at all times *)

the late phoenix said...

Reese's Pieces, Phoenix Pieces, hmmmm.......*)

Anonymous said...

1. Awesome name for a penis.

4. oh stop already!

5. I knew you'd say that.

Bonus: We are doomed. Human beings suck! We ruin everything. I'm so uplifting and positive, aren't I?

Have a great week tlp


the late phoenix said...

H: Hamlet, you can never go wrong with Hamlet. unfortunately, that's the dooming truth. happy week :)

Cheeky Minx said...

Are we sure the thing on your back isn't a memory worm? It might account for the fact you're happy to take back the exes!

#1 is priceless. I shall now refer to you as Sir Rub. Actually, that feels very right... ;-)

the late phoenix said...

cheeky: that Doctor Who episode left me regretful...

YES! i always wanted to be knighted! i shall take my flesh sword and my coconuts and join Monty Python immediately!