I SEE TITS IN THE SMOKE
1. name something you always carry with you: the Spurs are the 2014 NBA champions after their devastating loss last year. how many times in life are you able to make up for a life-altering defeat like that? it's as rare as an egg with three yolks. that's what i carry with me forever in my back pocket: ultimate redemption stories like these are possible. from Jesus Shuttlesworth to Jesus. last year i was making "Came Back Haunted" by NIN the Spurs' lasting theme song. now it's "We Are the Champions". "Came Back Haunted" is still a rad song tho, it's still what i use after a rough weekend. they are all rough weekends.
2. is there anyone on your mind at the moment? who? why? yes. i'll never tell. because i am in love with her.
3. if you were remembered for one thing, what would that be? my writing. and my extreme good looks.
4. tell us something new that you learned in the last month: planking. Tom Green invented planking in the '90s. everything that's ever been cool on Earth happened during the '90s.
5. what are you pretending not to know? why? one day...i'm gonna die...it's scary...
6. are you happy with other peoples' perceptions of you? everyone has a unifying perception of me: i'm fucking weird. it's true. perception is reality. if i were rich, i'd be eccentric. or am i a damn good actor?, wink wink.
7. are you generally focused on today or tomorrow? time doesn't exist.
bonus: how do you eat Oreos? a) bite it b) twist each half separately c) twist, eat the frosting then the chocolate half: it don't matter y'know, it don't matter if you're black or white, MJ taught us that, he also was pretty good with a basketball in his hand. always had to look out when he stuck his tongue out. speaking of tongues, i use my tongue to lick the frosting out first, and only when it's all sucked up do i proceed to lick all around the cookie. and then my lover and i eat Oreos in bed together. i would not kick her out of bed for eating crackers...
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