Friday, August 24, 2012

MY FIRST EVER GUEST POST!: APPEARANCES




you all know about my blogger buddy Missed Periods, right?

CLICK HERE AT THIS LINK TO GO TO HER AWESOME BLOG



she's COOL, she's HOT, you will get SCHOOLED, she'll teach you what's correct and what's NOT


i've always had a thing for the English language, and for teachers, so when an English teacher comes along...

okay, class, quiet! sit up straight! sit still! class is in session:





Hello readers of the late phoenix blog. Late has been very generous to allow me to promote my new book, Missed Periods and Other Grammar Scares, at his blog place.

I am assuming that, like me, to view this blog, you all click "I understand and wish to continue" when confronted with the warning that "The blog which you are able to view may contain content only suitable for adults." And therefore i am further assuming that you come here for material that verges on the risque, and you are probably thinking that grammar is the last thing you came here for, BUT WAIT, don't go! Missed Periods and Other Grammar Scares is definitely the dirtiest little grammar book you will ever read. And to prove this to you, i'm going to provide you with some excerpts to whet your appetite:

The first line:

Spelling can be as elusive as the female orgasm.

Why forgetting commas can be confusing:

If you're ever in the mood to give head over to the local charity.

My proofreading advice:

Honor your refractory period.

Make sure it's hard.

Try a different position.

Get hard core.

If that doesn't get you in the mood for conjugating, I don't know what will!







see? she's good, huh? i'm calling on all of my followers, and all of my lurkers, to stop what they're doing at this very moment and go out and buy her newly-published book, it's a matter of life and death, help this woman achieve her dream of one day being interviewed by Jon Stewart on his show, the book is SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good, y'all, your very grammatical soul is in danger of eternal damnation if you don't:




CLICK HERE AT THIS LINK TO GO TO THE BOOK'S AMAZON LISTING





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6 comments:

Missed Periods said...

This is so great. Thank you so much for letting me be your first!

the late phoenix said...

missed: you were my first...*sobs*

Lady in Red said...

First and foremost, Late Phoenix, I've been remiss! Please forgive me. I've been very distracted with all sorts of things - and yesterday I the bank robber's wife (in a film). It's been exciting and busy days so I haven't done my proper lurking at your site! I'm happy to be back :)

And to Missed Periods:

Congratulations on publishing your book! My friend and I are about to publish too. "All Cracked Up" is the title. We're planning to publish on Kindle as well as other places. It's a lot of fun :) Good luck and hope you make it to The Daily Show! ;-)

the late phoenix said...

LIR: aw, that's sweet, i'm sure Missed appreciates that, thanks for the well wishes. hey, you're an actress now! that's my (dream) job, we must talk shop sometime...

Lady in Red said...

Your dream job is to be an actress? Do tell.... ;-) x

the late phoenix said...

lady: oh yeah, i really need to get back to the theatre where i can be creative and free. i could use you in one of my many "student films"...