Monday, January 30, 2012
TMIT: SUPER BOWL SALSA
what's your choice of ______ that you'll serve at the party? can't afford a party, no coins and no friends, but i'll play along...
beer, wine, distilled spirit, mixed drink: i don't drink any alcohol ever since The Incident in college. do you want me to tell you all about The Incident? liquor me up first...
chip: doritos, love the artificial nacho cheese powder, makes me feel like i'm snorting cocaine powder, the more artificial, the better
dip: i set up salsa pools, inflatable pools filled with salsa, don't ask me where i get the pools...or the salsa
take out food: come on, you all know me by now: TACO BELL
homemade, sweet, or salty food: i combine all three of these with my homemade m and ms, they're homemade in that i use money found in my home's couch to buy them, they're sweet chocolate, and the salty shell...okay, so i sprinkle a little salt on them before service, so sue me
what will you wear at the party? nothing
my own personal half time show would be: me on stage actually singing, i think i have the skills to compose original music, but for the fuck of me, i can't sing a note, i mean i can bearably sing like a pledge or something if i had to, but i can't scream like trent or growl like kurt or whine like billy. i'd be on stage with my three musical heroes: billy corgan, trent reznor, and the Arch Angel Kurt Cobain flying on his gun-addled wings from above, and we'd just rock out as a quartet, do a song from our upcoming album...can you imagine a song produced from a collaboration of these three giants?! the harmony by itself would kill you, but the piercing lyrics would make sure you were murdered in bliss.
what team do you wish were playing the Big Game? i've always had a soft spot for the ravens, from joe flacco getting constantly pounded for being a fraud but him still honoring himself with the fu-manchu, and also you'd like to see ray lewis and those boys get some sort of hardware for all that work they do, the years and years of stellar defense, one ring just doesn't seem enough. and then that game happens, with the should-have-been-a-touchdown and the missed chip-shot field goal, and you have to ask yourself if the ravens are indeed cursed by their namesake edgar allan poe himself. i mean, they always seem to have a good enough team to make the playoffs, but they just never have quite enough to get over the hump. Edgar Allan Poe is the king of misery, so his curses run very very deep
whom do you want to win? if the patriots had caught a pretty easy interception the last time these two teams clashed in the Super Bowl, you'd be looking at a perfect undefeated season for the pats, FINALLY shutting up the ol' dolphins team, and people speaking in terms of that pats team being the greatest team ever, in any sport, of all time. a miracle catch on the tip of a helmet prevented that. honestly, i wouldn't mind if the pats won, to get some measure of revenge, they've been beaten down from their arrogant post sufficiently enough by now, but if the giants win, i suppose i'd be happy, too. i'm still recovering from nadal/djokovic, so let me catch my breath and i'll get back to you with my betting line, i mean, my pick
bonus: super bowl of sex prop bet: sure, i do it every year, i say to the lovely lady that happens to be watching the game with me that day that the minute the first touchdown is scored, we go to the table and score our own touchdown, and see which one takes longer. so far, no offers...
bonus bonus: what's your can't-live-without sport? tennis > ballroom dancing > ballroom "dancing" > eating doritos
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