Friday, August 11, 2017



* sorry, couple, the house just sold.

* the previous owner left a note: welcome to your happy abode! it's all yours! just don't cut the tall grass. don't slash it with your sword. there are no rupees. or silver arrows or anything. aren't those flowers pretty? your landlord in life and afterlife, Ganon

* do not make a phone call in this house.

* there is no such thing as safe water. bottled won't help. it's all rusty pipes in the end. there's only one water which is pure, cos it's untouched by man: FIJI

* you stole the Salvation Army red kettle?

* death of a salesman...

* man: sex after a cold shower, that's my fetish.

* man: happy birthday!
woman: you remembered! what'd you get me?
man: this balloon.

* man: honey, Siri's acting up again!
woman: no that's the baby monitor.
man: we have a baby? honey, Siri's going crazy again!

* man: why you laughing?
woman: cos we can't afford this.
man: what are you doing with the tape there?
woman: interpretative dance. that was my major at Berkeley.

* woman: so honey i'm rolling white paint on the walls, how do you like it?
man: is white really a color?
woman: it's all the colors.

* man: honey i burned the eggs again.............the pan is ruined.........oh i forgot i'm alone.

* man: you're a nurse?
woman: no.
man: what's with the blue scrubs?
woman: i'm a painter.

* man: i wanted to go with the Delftware but we had no money so i went with the dust.

* man: you just had to wear your high heels didn't you?!!
woman: these are YOUR high heels.

* woman: makeup sex is my fetish. we have to argue first or i can't cum.

* man: honey i burned the meat again. the pan is ruined. what do you want on your pizza?
woman: filet mignon.

* don't tell that kid in the swing but her parents have been divorced this whole time.

* man: don't eat the paint, kid! that's my dinner!

* that wasn't a real house. it was a set. old Hollywood Western general-store facade. the Western went the way of the buffalo...

* man: is that my car?
woman: kinda. it's your father's car.

* man: what's in the two brown bags?
woman: his and hers bottles of wine...


happy weekend, my babies. need it to recover from that Princess Diana special. at least SNL is back, kinda.


Jules said...

I love your mind...*)

the late phoenix said...

as i yours, mah dahlin. you make my mind erect *)