Monday, July 27, 2015

TMIT: MY BELLY STINGS







1. what did you have for breakfast? spaghetti 'n' meatballs
2. what clothes did you put on? what are clothes?
3. what did you have for lunch? you. it was glorious. remember when we had to align our lunch breaks just right so we could afternoon-delight? that took a lot of preparation and organization. i hope our boss reads our personal websites...so he can see just how good we are when it comes to planning. i was in a daze for days. forgot to actually eat lunch, but i was full...with your love juice inside me...
4. what about dinner? what did you have? who cooked it? who did the dishes? the new McFilet Mignon at McDonald's. the Hamburglar. i did cos he ran away without saying goodbye.
5. did you/are you gonna travel today? where to? car, bus, train, or plane? oh yeah. where they make Kool-Aid powder, wanna get some free samples. Magic Dragon.
6. did you mail anything? did you get anything interesting in the mail? so there was something called the Post Office once i'm hearing? they used ponies, right? looking through my pile here and this certificate says i've won McDonald's junior cheeseburgers for life.............i've eaten just one junior cheeseburger and i already feel some creature living in my stomach.
7. did you send or get any interesting mail? i tried to send the spammers something back but they weren't there, after business hours. i clicked on a link for a celebrity sex tape and had to get a new computer. i'm never doing that again.
8. did you text/skype/messenger/internet communicate in any way? it's been quite the day, haven't had a chance to check my email, maybe that'll cheer me up. any love letters? any more sweepstakes i can enter? ah, no, just spam and bills.
9. did you use the internet for porn? i use the internet to get the latest news and real-time updates that only i can receive cos only i paid for the premium package.

bonus: did you get laid today? see pic above. as you can see, later in the evening after all this other stuff happened, i sprained my ankle from all the strain and was in fact laid up in bed. my neighbors who live in my village of shrooms were very kind, offering me orange mugs of piping hot smurfberry juice. then, Smurfette came. she, uh, comforted me for a very very long time.

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8 comments:

AVY said...

Sex with a sprained ankle? Sure, why not?

/Avy

http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com

the late phoenix said...

avy: you learn to use other positions you didn't even know existed!

Happy Slytherin Housewife said...

"i clicked on a link for a celebrity sex tape and had to get a new computer. i'm never doing that again." lol

the late phoenix said...

HSH: :)

Cheeky Minx said...

I'm thinking you and me and a McFilet Mignon sex(t)ing picnic on a blanket of postcards from my recent travels.

What do you say, gorgeous? :*

the late phoenix said...

cheeky: I would love nothing more, my beautiful. I think I'm gonna ride my pony to the Post Office and cancel my lifetime McDeath burgers...

Jules said...

Interesting mail should come when you're least expecting it. *)

the late phoenix said...

juli: i can't wait, mah dahlin! *)