THE LATE PHOENIX: I WANTED TO BE FAMOUS. INSTEAD, I HAVE THIS BLOG.
Monday, October 29, 2012
TMIT: SANDY CANDY
THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT...why am i thinking i'm gonna get the short of it?1. what is the longest relationship you have been in? 30 years or so, long long time, myself, or rather, my multiple personalities, there's Hank the surly trick driver, Bethany the party girl, One Eye Sal the stool, and Blogspot the blog writer, he's the one who is technically typing this right now. there's also The Hand...2. what is the shortest relationship you have been in? it just ended at this very moment...i just came...it was all in my head3. how often do you have sex? how often do you want it? have: not so much, want: even when i'm sleeping...especially when i'm sleepin' and havin' the vivid wild sex dreams4. how long does sex usually last? one second5. have you ever had an experience where someone couldn't perform, finished too quickly, or couldn't keep up with you? do tell: this is really embarrassing, but okay: well, back then, no one could keep up with me, so, well, the dorm room was covered in white for days...the smell of satisfaction wafted through the room for days...at least we gave the room a much-needed paint job, that coat stuck!6. if you could have only one "type" of sexual encounter for the rest of your dying days, which would it be?: a) short and sweet b) wham bam thank you ma'am c) here for the long haul d) slow and tender: gotta go with wham bam thank you ma'am just 'cause that is one of the best expressions ever invented...although i do like it slow and tender like a good spitfire roast.bonus: would you consider ending an otherwise loving and healthy relationship if the sex wasn't what you expected? HELL NO, you know how hard it is to find true love and health in this impossible world nowadays? sex isn't really that big of a deal, as long as i can cuddle with my babe on a thousand custom specially-delivered pillows and my stuffed-animal collection which the internet said was unique and one-of-a-kind, that's all life is about: cuddling, pillows, clicking for that million-dollar stuffed, rare, only-one-in-existence dodo bird...and youCLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY.