Monday, September 19, 2011

PORN LESSONS: DORM BANNER DAY




for me, porn is educational, not pleasurable. yeah, that's it. when i sit down to partake of a random skin vid on the ol' puter, i take my notes with me, scribbling down furiously pointers i can use in my own experience, pointers which make my pencil so pointy from all the writing that i am too pointed to make a point. this particular vid is a favorite among the Community, and it's certainly a favorite of mine:

CLICK HERE. WARNING: NSFW PORN

so, let's see what we've learned here, professor:

learned:

* if you're really going for it and wear nothing but heels in bed, you might as well make them clear heels

* when a girl says "i love you" as she's sucking your cock, the ONLY response back is "i love you, too". if you don't try to get cute or clever with the answer back, the proceedings will continue onwards swimmingly towards climax. any other pun or play on words will get you bitten. this is NOT the time for wordplay!

* buddy, she wants you to pull her hair, you can pull harder than that! pull as if your life insurance is on the line

* you know you're in a good situation when she slaps you in the face hard and calls you "dirty boy". that's the universal sign of a good time

* as you're about to cum inbetween her ass cheeks there, make a game out of it. i dunno, pretend her crack is on fire, and your hose is the only water in town. quickly, quickly, put out the fire!!!




.

6 comments:

S. said...

Love it!

Love
/S / http:// mydarlingsolitude.blogspot.com

KaziGrrl said...

Hahaha love the commentary!! I'm usually too caught up in the action to form cogent thought :)

~Kazi

the late phoenix said...

s: <3

kazi: all pornos should have two commentary tracks, one with the actors discussing their motivations, and one with the director who talks about all of his filmic influences...

lil said...

Lmao at point number two. Though I'm well past the urge to bite...I know better.

the late phoenix said...

lil: do tell, do tell, my lovely. thanks for visiting. btw, i'm in awe of your beautiful avatar, wow! :)

Sophia said...

wait... what??? you lost me with that hot video...
OK re-reading now. ;-)

xxx
S