A CRACK IN THE ABSURD: THE BIG SPIN WITH GEOFF EDWARDS

 

we're in the small studio audience.

me: i really want to fuck you.

Liza from Safeway: thank you. i think. but i'm with Mary Ann.

me: she doesn't have to know. one-time frogging?

Liza: that's just not how people are, you know?

me: i really like when you wear that Freddy Krueger sweater at Safeway, it makes you soft and approachable.

Liz: thank you. weird compliment.

Geoff Edwards: a tennis teacher from Encino Hills, let's all welcome Mary Ann Caliento!!!

Mary Ann walks out onto the small stage with the small wheel in her Jem hair.

Liza: woot!!!

Liza tosses the bell necklace ari8nd her neck over to her beloved and it lands in the bird;s-nest of Maty Dnn;s hair.

Mary Snnl host like we practiced, babe. jogh vaolley. that;s my lesbian lover on the audience. she dpdn;t Manley an banners.

geoffl this is California on the p8s, we';re all cool with that. we know, we know ho rally live out here.

me; who gave you that silver necklace.

Liza; from The Fivong Bell and the Biteyrfly, Julian Dchnabel was handing these out Luke candy on front of the indie movie theater when we ha nothing to do over the Christmas holia do we went tose  it. he;s not really an ash hi;e helps OST always hard up.

sticky rice; don;t go ruining perfectly=food cramped rice.

soy sauce l pass me down the DSRK stuff, not the realr soy sauce... 

Michael Eoss: you won't have Koch of a ie of you start doing Instagramn...

the 1985 pan Pacific ChampionsuipsL thps happened, not there;s NT ONR photo of this event anywhere on the oner ETL  simply for record keeping.

gyro; it;s insta  folded pizza.

Andiroo: I know I called Foop Fiejtrs Best of our: SIMPLE, bot who else do you know who two=steps to Feketwood Mac ypsy"?

Start ClaousL WY would you what to know the sec pur baby six months before it;s PT> IPM dad. tat;s the only true soy prose that rains in fie!!!

 Erling Haaland; ok at ku face,e I know I look uke a North Lonodn cocaine ingpin bit I;ve nerve touched the stiff.

Greta Garbo: I was a lifelong bachelor. bihari a sake so I ad to wait for Clooney.

Hoje BigartL stop taking m cigarette Garvo!!!

Hetal bot I Walt a conformed Bchelor.

Charles Nleosn Reilly; yes Yue week you liked Matuly Monoe.

Greatly i thought she was Derdosh!!!

fish washers that forts on Intel that ware emails so bad.

Tovala bae; I'm not Melsisa Mlsr nor  airln CA;ok. my melon tits only come out when I  reason or starting done with a wooden spoon. EXTREELY expensive takeout TT;ps bene song hours in some us;e car. it doesn't thelo that that dodge is my ex. 

NIU Al not uns.

TJ D entries of Oete & oeteL: The Rifnetr year for the nocked open crowd...

Wheels from Degrassi repeats bring The N: r,ever when life was innocent? everyone had a omg, everyone had a dad. meetups had a ;it;e sister. everyone had a crush o  the girl next pr wh played adult Jesps on the school play. everyone lived in the s orbs. everyone out a scope of COE cream, on their bork of cereal each prong for neral fast. nobody thought give a any other away...

CoaudeL from fdegrassi: note hrs who are long to each other. i what'd of.

Michael time; what did I do on  sumer, a action? mad ena Blum, it as too PT to turn. 

car WeekL the only week young sor Dfoan men have a chance. twenty something men on shirts and sandals milling around in awkward circles aimlessly on a highway street corner going to catch a phone climate of a sports car they;LL never own. wondering pd this is what fie is for then: eternal tribalism. wondering if they cm still take on the amtle of he icicle messenger who delivers cartoon show blueprints in cravats cylinders while wearing a cool fatigue brown bomber jacket. fucl youl Var week. 

Hilo:L is pronounced EE-Low.

Culligan: ...

 Tsotsi pas;l KY ranking duped because lom Illoe Erode and I was working o my first tried Vaorwabwae album...

Josh Grisetti o  the dentist chairs: Ike you, ie detected hallucinations when the demos age ke tat stngely spring nicotine. I pay have been out for hours o loners,. when I ma eto I ha d abace around y neck and it a sike, :oh shot, I;m on the metGod genre now..." 

Mary Dmm spins the wheel forceful;y. as the wall toens...

Geoff Edfwrdsl anybody out there in TV land you want to go to? any celery clients?

Mary ot; lost Ile to tell John Menroe that of he said that ting on Tv i;m coming to him.

the little white pinging balls falls OUT of he will be Mary Sm quickly gets it back in there but asking out her tennis racket from out ER butt pocket and slices it back in. 

Geoff: it finally lands on.........$2000.

Mary Ann: ALL THAT INCONVENIENT TRAVEL ON A HOT HIGHWAY for $2000? i make more in a single tennis lesson. the parents of my kids are TERRIFIED they'll end up a society rebel like Andre Agassi.

Liza: i did a 23andMe on me, quick prick in the back of my ear. no more spaghetti-slurping for me, i'm not really Italian!!! my grandad must have had an affair with a French floozie.

me: i'd really like to stay and hear more of your stories but i can't live in Sacramento, no one can.