okay this is all happening here at once! y'all know what this means, right? May 1, May Day, Omaha Beach, Normandy, Saving Private Ryan and the scene everyone will never forget...the opening scene...but everyone DOES forget that the Ryan in the Saving of the Private Parts was actually Matt Damon. not the Howard Stern movie. no this is not that Rome Sweet Rome script on reddit unsold pilot thing, that's over, and a writer's dream, Ancient Rome won, beat the American infantry, but then again Ancient Rome IS America, so...
btw sweet wordplay there with the title. thought it was about Jim Rome, who's sweet and into horses in his own right.
it's no coincidence that the favorite this year is named Omaha Beach.
what? Omaha Beach scratched? THE FAVORITE SCRATCHED!!!? i mean this now happens at EVERY Kentucky Derby since i can remember, it's de rigueur. name me the last race where the favorite didn't scratch at the last minute and send all the bookies off a Big Sur cliff with their stockings around their ankles just as they were about to enter the monastery?
nevermind that, choose anyway. choose a horse that...hasn't scratched yet...hindlegs yes but not the race. we pray of course that this race doesn't matter and all the horses live---THAT'S all that really matters.
remember, you must choose a horse ONLY by their name, not their stats.
oh and this year it's gonna fall on May The Fourth so you're gonna get all the Star Wars freaks milling into the paddock in their Jar Jar costumes scaring the fuck out of the horses at the starting line. this year a little of the Preakness freakness is gonna spill early into the jewel of this thing that's supposed to be classy and shiny and polished and hewn and rubbed-off not rubbed-out.
speaking of hewn, R.I.P. to tall gent Peter Mayhew, Mayhew on May Day on May The Fourth, *sadface*
join me the morning after for Sunday Brunch at the local church, don't worry, the parking's free cos nobody does religion anymore. i'll be the one hung over on all the tubs of strawberry margaritas in the kitchen mean back-alley, pouring one out for Chewbacca with my main man Anthony Bourdain.
CLICK HERE FOR THE LIST OF HORSES
happy weekend, my babies. in memory and honor of Chewie imma get that Han Solo breakfast fire-jalapeno hotcakes meal thing from Denny's. served only at 5AM and 2:30PM. i have a working fan theory: Han obviously loved Chewie as a soul-mate and brother, but i think the reason Chewie really liked Han was cos he wanted to eat Han. no i mean in bed. like, Chewie REALLY loved Han if you catch my drift in the cosmos...
3 comments:
GRAY MAGICIAN!!! IT'S GOTTA BE GRAY MAGICIAN!!!
Had I not been late, I would have chosen Game Winner or Win Win Win. *)
my sweet this thing is a mess now. it's in flux. first Kentucky Derby objection on-track DQ of the race winner EVER! IN THE 100-PLUS-YEAR HISTORY OF THE THING! and now the winner won't run the Preakness, either. so no Triple Crown even before the bettors have chance to climb back up from their ledges. but all horses are safe, that's all that matters. now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna eat all the rucksack bags of oats and sugar the horses forfeited...*)
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