this year's gonna be different. i keep telling myself that. they shoulda used the U in Kentucky for the Horseshoe under the Rose in the logo. the journey always begins with hope. the Kentucky Derby is like Star Wars, the original Star Wars before there were any toys. like it was just called Star Wars cos there wasn't another movie yet. the possibilities are stretched out before you like a striding horseleg, everything is still on the table where you gamble with smuggler's dice, anything is possible, like you, too, can own a horse if you get in with like a billion other dudes online and sell your house. house for horse.
no matter who wins, you're still not in the mud. you may have lost your house but now you know the name of the person---i call horses people---to root for in the next one. Triple Crown money can make up for your losses. divided a billion times over you'll at least get a bottle of that liquid gold with the crown on it. a Cinco cerveza. when's the last time the Kentucky Derby was on Cinco de Mayo?
smaller field it seems this year. 30 is probably too many. Mendelssohn is a fun name to pronounce and spell. Mendelssohn got the most trim of all the Classical composers. he got the most trims to his muttonchops he was the most cleanshaven. My Boy Jack makes me cry for the return of Skins. but then again, maybe Skins left us at just the right time before it got stale. so we're preserving its legacy by not having it come back, that's a good thing. we're doing it for the millennial children, the Year 3000 millennial children and to make each repeat rewatch a hidden gem. okay, but there's still no Skins to watch so it sucks. Bolt d'Oro is named after the famous celebrity who makes me cry cos i miss the Olympics. i'll only put money down on this horse if Usain tries to get into the jockey uniform and rips it all to shreds and there's the group photo of him and all the other jockeys dangling their legs holding onto one of his arms and Usain races and beats his own horse then comes back around and mounts that same horse and beats all the other horses on top of this horse, Bolt d'Oro.
happy weekend, my babies. meet me at Denny's after the race. i'll be there entering the Smuggler's Dice Sweepstakes, dining solo. eating those special items on the menu commemorating the release of Solo the next Star Wars thing. eating that Denny's food that looks different but is still the same. i shot the Blast Fire Burger first. i like my meat well-done. cooked well-done with blaster smoke coming out of the buns.
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