Monday, December 7, 2015


orange addiction. it's a real condition. some instagrammers have it. addicted to the orange like-hearts. i may. or not. not sure. have to get a first opinion. have to go see a doctor. my insurance doesn't cover this.

if i were to come to your home (please do come in my home)...

1. and look in your refrigerator what would i see? it running. i better go chase it.
2. and open your front room closet or hall closet, what would i see? Narnia
3. and open the top left drawer of your dresser, what would i see? a dirty pile of sticky socks. i told you not to look in there.
4. and go to your bedroom and look under the bed, what would i see? the monster i became. i was not a careful fighter of monsters. the abyss stared back at me and saw Drake.
5. and look under your basement stairs what would i find? Nine Inch Nails poster, one black light, a bed, and an exhausted refrigerator. i live there. i'm so cold. so so cold. had to take out the boiler to make room.

bonus: when visiting other peoples' homes and using the bathroom---friends, relatives, parties---do you look in their medicine chests? i don't have friends. i don't use the bathroom. i had the bad habit of touching things that didn't belong to me and vowed i'd never touch anything that wasn't mine ever again. while rummaging through a friend's medicine cabinet in her bathroom i saw a tube of anti-touch cream. i had finally found my cure!...



Jules said...

1: Mushrooms
2:A very long Doctor Who Scarf and a screwdriver.
3: Half eaten edible underwear. I get hungry in the night.
4: Rainbow road.
5: Secret passageways to 221B Baker Street.

Bonus: I take all their medicines and mix them into the house punch with a dash of hell dust. Always ramps the party up a bit, I find.


the late phoenix said...

tried some Fish House Punch but it was full of sardines and I don't like seafood so I left it *)