* Barbie was the original Princess Leia.
* remember, this isn't about you. it's not about your fatal attraction to Jar Jar Binks. you are but a cog. you were born to make money. you were born to break the record. when you go to the theatre tonight and moaningly brave the long lines, think back to your grandparents who stood in line during the Great Blizzard of '77 to see the original. and they did it barefoot. you are part of history.
* somewhere in space, this may all be happening right now. it's happening in the future, but it happened in the past.
* *Chewbacca eats Princess Leia's buns*
* Darth Vader: you are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! take her away!
Princess Leia laughs.
Darth Vader: sorry, i was using my David Prowse voice.
Darth Vader: that's the standard size for this vaccine.
Princess Leia: see?! that proves it! vaccines are bad!
* C-3PO: hello.
R2-D2 (with harmonica): hello.
all three (in harmony Three Stooges style): HELLO!
* Cantina bartender: what the fuck, old man?!
Obi-Wan: get me my goddamn tea! Earl Grey, hot.
* Princess Leia kisses Luke on the cheek.
Princess Leia: for luck.
Luke (disappointed): aw.
* Obi-Wan: how do you like my long white penis?
Darth Vader: that's taking it too far!
Darth Vader takes off his mask and it's President Ronald Reagan.
Reagan: this is where the Star Wars meeting is, right?
* Han Solo: why'd it have to be trash? KID!
Luke: aw man, i'm too smelly. Princess Leia will never kiss me for real.
Princess Leia: not necessarily. my father was a garbageman.
* three billion years in the making......i mean a billion years in the making.......come on, people, let's break that $3 billion ceiling!
CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK
happy weekend. may the Schwartz be with you.