* playoffs? playoffs?! playoff, playa, play on to play off. gotta play on to make the playoffs so you can play in the playoffs to play on. gotta play off in life, dust yourself off and play on.
* why is sporting good but sporty bad?
* old-timey is offensive. without old-timey there would be no new-timey. respect your elders.
* golf is a metaphor for life: keep your line steady as you navigate through the winds of change, blow and get blown, dig your way out of quicksand only to realize it's the same sand they use in hourglasses, always strive for that hole, get in the hole, GET IN THE HOLE, because the hole is all there is, the perfect circle, OM, become the hole. but become the hole without becoming an asshole.
* gymnastics: you have to be light as air, as invisible as physics, only then do you get to bite on that heavy medal metal that weighs you down like a gold-plated lead balloon.
* cranberry juice: that's why it tastes so cool, it's made by surfing on a cranberry swamp.
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