THE LATE PHOENIX: I WANTED TO BE FAMOUS. INSTEAD, I HAVE THIS BLOG.
Monday, December 3, 2012
TMIT: MY FANTASY IS YOU IN MY BED
PIC 10 FROM TOP PIC: pssst, hi everybody, it's me, your late phoenix!PIC 14 FROM TOP PIC/LAST PIC: i wish that was you1. do you think that acting out a fantasy can damage a relationship? i don't think, i know, take the case of the late phoenix: he's a blogger, he spends three days a week on this blog, typing his little stories which amuse him so. this is clearly brain damage caused by year upon year of intense Dungeons and Dragons or something, guess he never ascended to the guy who gets to make all the decisions, who plots out the fantasy and makes the underlings, uh, friends, around him live out his fantasy of swords and silver and wench sex, uh, our collective fantasy of medieval ploughing...now the poor phoneix wants a job at a comic-book company where he can ink and color his latest mind imaginings...or a bit part in the latest Nutcracker community-centre-theatre production. come on, Casting Director, please? i'm bored this time of year, it will distract my winter doldrums.2. couples, i hear, role-play to live out their fantasies rather than introduce another person into the mix. is this acceptable? completely unacceptable, we as humans must always strive to include everybody in the neighborhood watch to come and join in our reindeer games, that makes for a more bonded 'hood and then when you ask to borrow some sugar, the babe down the street knows what you really mean.3. is there a particular character from a film or tv series that you fantasize about? do you have thirty minutes? an hour? a day? the rest of your and my life? this is why i blog, to escape into my full-on space, anime, and wonder geek/nerd, to spill my video-game and kid-like qualities onto this jittery world, to embrace my inner loser/loner with the full fury of a wand and a Hobbit foot and a saber of light. Counselor Troi, call me...4. anything off-limits for fantasy? child abuse, rape, incest, age play, etc? it's too early in the morning and too cold to think of such things, i'm bothered right now by a piece of nagging chewed-up bacon stuck in my teeth, the right side of my teeth which has been experiencing brutal pain all weekend. the pain pills are diminishing their returns, and just this morning, a light bulb went off, see, i'm not so smart after all, i finally realized i needed Orajel for this, not more pain pills, i think i unintentionally transformed myself into a druggie for no good reason. the piece of bacon whispered in my ear, "who's your daddy?", does that sufficiently answer this question?5. what is the most taboo thing you have ever fantasized about doing? all i'm gonna say is that it involves a Jack-In-The-Box6. name a fantasy of yours that you don't really see yourself acting out? why, brudda, why? well, it involves a very special woman who lives apart far away from me right now and a plane ticket, i want to date her, i want her to be my girlfriend and eventually my wife, but...it's not that i don't have the guts, it's that i've kinda given up on this whole blogging thing, i'm tired of the constant typing that really doesn't lead anywhere. there's always the "why am i exactly doing this?" aspect to all this online traffic. dunno, maybe internet dream love matches can come true...but i'm not holding my breath...okay, i'll hold my breath for a little bit, 'til i turn blue...and green... and red...Crimbus colors7. have you ever pretended the person you were wildly fucking was someone else and didn't tell them about it? sure, everyone does this subconsciously whether they admit it or not, we as humans are always in the process of one-upping ourselves, of bettering our situations, perceived or otherwise, we always want that apartment in the sky, much to the detriment of who we already have. Natalie Portman, sure, but i have a real chance with this real woman overseas, so this is where IRL crushes Fantasy with its lightsaber, it has to, or i have no hope left.8. tell us of your biggest fantasy fail, trying to make your fantasy real? it seems inevitable that fantasy and reality won't mix well, it's oil and water and alcohol---alcohol, that's the problem ingredient, check---it always seems like a good idea at the time, but y'know, that's why Star Trek TNG is a tv show, a brilliant tv show, but a tv show just the same...i tried the Klingon Mating Ritual, i tried it at a Jack-In-The-Box parking lot...ended up on youtube...bonus: tell us about your most cherished fantasy and all the juicy details of how you went about living it out, that's the kind of sick people we are. nosy, nosy, aren't we?!!! okay: it involves my beautiful babe i'm thinking about now and a peach Princess dress. Ed from across the way has agreed to don his King Koopa costume. i don my plumber's hat, my plumber's suspenders, my plumber's suit, my plumber's wrench, and my plumber's wrench, meaning my 15-inch cock. oh, damn, i just shaved off my Movember mustache, that would have come in handy now...CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY.