Wednesday, November 30, 2011

HNT: I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE: I AM, IN FACT, KEANU REEVES


*CLICKY CLICKY*

dudes, first click on me on my bad hair day, uh, bad sad day, to start up a brand new shiny series, bro!

it's me, keanu, it's really me here, check my facebook and twitter. i have legions of adoring fans, some are human, most are animal, but on that one particular day, i was so dejected after a breakup that not even the poundcake i was eating there tasted good, and poundcake always tastes good to me, so that was a major bummer. because of my bad filming schedule and all the forces of the Cosmic Wave in the Sky coming together at just the right moment, that picture of me was taken, and now i'm an internet meme, and i'm done. i mean, you can't get more famous than being an internets meme, once you achieve that, you live on forever, you're immortal, you're greater than the great philosophers and thinkers and writers of our time. hell, this made me cooler than when i was an actual movie star. eat your heart out, shakespeare and sartre, and that nifty derrida guy.

okay, okay, let's bring it down, this one goes out to all the ladies out there:

CLICK HERE AND LET'S LOVE EACH OTHER A LITTLE HARDER AFTER


did that do it for you? i'm keanu, of course it did. yeah, paula is still my girl, y'know? i have had EXCELLENT ADVENTURES, air-guitaring it with Ol' Abe Lincoln right before he...well, y'know...travelled to those debates. good times, RIP Abe Man, you live on at least in my heart, Abester. i also taught the world that this world is a joke, it's a facade, it's all the Matrix controlling things, so yeah, there's no more need for school and books, just take your Pills and you'll be fine. then there was the time i looked good taking letters out of my mailbox in that one movie, i remember a fall setting of some sort, that was some great sci-fi romance, that's a new sickening genre emerging these days, huh? the sci-fi time-travel romance drama that never makes sense, but hell, i love it, i got paid for that, so whatever. i'm keanu, the baddest mother on the planet, and i'll be sad when i want to.

like the emo song long-ass post title? yeah, that was me, too. LOVE YA, SHOUT OUT TO ALL MY BLOGGER PEEPS!!!!!





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19 comments:

pepper said...

Dude.

nitebyrd said...

Duuude! No way!

Such expressive fingers.

KaziGrrl said...

Hey! And love ya back, eh!

HHNT!

~Kazi xxx

Indelible Wench said...

you have nice fingers. odd compliment, but true.

Elle said...

I KNEW it! Those nipples gave it away.

Pocket RockettZ said...

No kiddin? You rocked in Point Break dude!

Molly said...

I do love hands... such an expressive part of the body

Mollyxxx

Cheeky Minx said...

Oh, Keanu, you've always had my body but now you've gone and stolen my mind, heart, my very shadowy soul with "that nifty derrida guy"!

And the hand on your chest, well, you know what that does to me... ;)

Sexy Smile said...

Cool post. And I agree, you have nice fingers!

the late phoenix said...

pepper: way

nite: the better to finger you with, my dear :*

kazi: eye wub u

indelible: i was a great *organ*-player in my youth with these fingers...seriously

elle: keanu's, uh, my nipples are like snowflakes, each unique and one of a kind

pocket: that was my high point. after that, it was all surfboard overboard

molly: i and jack handy thank you

cheeky: derrida got me through college...well, up until my boilermaker-fueled scene at the local coffee klatch

sexy smile: the better to...:*

Vincent Vega said...

I AM AN EFF-BEE-EYE AGENT!

the late phoenix said...

vince: keanu did it

Craziness abounds said...

I have to say this had me giggling a little. Just saw that you followed me so came back over to check out your blog. Nicely written. Kept my attention the whole time so I will be following back. Don't expect my crap to keep your attention but your welcome to come give 'er a shot.

Missed Periods said...

I knew we'd meet one day. Why don't you come over to my blog and see me sometime.

Íntimas Intenções by Anita said...

Congratulations on the blog of good taste, sensuality and excellence in every word. A blog that deserves many visits, for sure.

I'm following you, if you want to visit will be a pleasure.

kisses,
Anita.
http://intimasintencoes.blogspot.com

EllaGirl said...

Oh, Keanu! I should have known! You do indeed have lovely digits! Remember the night back stage after the Dog Star show and we made fun of Gwen Stefani's shoes? xo - E.

viemoira said...

Excellent- paula was my obsession as a teen and now I get to relive that.
Oh wait - this is about KR? ops...
:)

~viemoira

the late phoenix said...

craziness: thanks for the add! keep in touch. there is no such thing as an unnecessary blog post

missed: best offer i've had all day...

intimas: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ella: of course i remember, best night of my life

vie: i've always wanted to f*** paula, still do, even more so now after American Idol, we could be drug buddies

notaperfectlife said...

woah.... dude! I am not star-struck but for you, Keanu I will make an exception. Since you have smitten me with your words first and then your chest. :)

xxx
Sophia