Wednesday, October 19, 2011
first, click on the best damn OJ this side of Mars for #3 in the series
THEN, CLICK HERE TO GET IN THE ORGY MOOD
some recent texting activity of mine:
boytoy1345: it's me again, i know that you love me, you're just too scared. i really think we can make this work, i'm good enough, i'm smart enough, and god dammit, YOU like me, so i matter. please return my calls, i've limited myself to calling you just 45 times a day now, i'm cutting back, like that liquid-only diet we were supposed to go on together up in the Andes. that was the trip that was gonna save us, gonna mask all of the inconsistencies, lies, and deep problems with our relationship. btw, i'm a girl, don't let my username fool you, see i want a boy toy, that's why i used that name, anyway, oh no, not that YOU'RE just a pretty boy toy to me, you're my everything. it's me, janna, your woman, your only woman
me: let me ride
therealnigerianprince87: this is not a scam, i repeat: this is not a scam. i am a REAL nigerian prince in desperate need of your desperate services. only you can help save my kingdom. now you may ask why i bothered to ask such a lowly, i mean salt-of-the-earth nobody like yourself for aid, well, i see something in you that even you don't. i see the fierce need to please others, to make something of yourself. all of the jocks at school beat you up, all of the babes never asked you out, but you are unique and special, that's what the Bible says, i'm assuming you're Christian, anyway, i believe in your Bible. so just do what we talked about, wire a million dollars into that swiss bank account number i gave you, and all will be well. if you don't, i'll REALLY spill the beans on your Obama and his nigerian roots and connections!!!
me: LET ME RIDE!!!
loseweightfeelgreat098: haven't gotten laid in a while? it's not your fault. well, it is kinda your fault, because you haven't bought the latest in a line of new SWEATER VESTS!!! sweater vests, baby, it's better than viagra, i know, you're sick of those enhancement spam emails, we over at Big's Department Store are, too. our sweater vests come in all styles and colors, black for your mood, white for your skin (assuming), gray for the atmosphere outside, yellow and sunny for a life you'll never have unless you buy a sweater vest: half-off, we're slashing prices, don't slash your wrists just yet...each vest comes with a free gallon of weight-loss powder (we're assuming you're fat)
me: LET ME RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!