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Mary Elizabeth McGlynn: welcome to Hawaii!!! my relationship with Steve Blum is the last great hope of Earth. the world is so crazy now, so filled with desperate hopelessness on a daily basis, that the couple of us, the concept of us, we as a couple, brings HOPE. when you're going through a fucking hard time, just think of the two of us, our faces, filled with the joy of anime happiness, that we live FAR AWAY from the troubles of the planet, at our secret oasis, that we still live a life of normalcy in the calm ocean.
Steve Blum: that there are still people who laugh.
Mary: as you can see, we live in the KAME HOUSE from Dragon Ball. on a very tiny circle of sandbar land with a couple Hawaiian palm trees.
Steve: we got it on a steal from this guy who was a turtle hermit, he didn't want to hermit anymore, he wanted sex with a woman who was a blonde one day and a blue-hair the next.
Mary: talk about a man's wet dream!!!
Master Roshi: the KAME HOUSE is weird, it's as small as a square yet somehow has a second floor...
Steve Blum: it hasn't always been a rainbow. times were tough for anime voice actors in the 2000s, interest in anime had dried up. even in Canada. if it wasn't for the Toonami revival i'd be working at a carwash now. i like what i do but it's not challenging. i need to be challenged every day or i won't grow. i mean this week in the soundbooth i actually had to say SHIVER ME TIMBERS!!! with a straight face to promote One Piece...
Mary: honey, don't fret, you have me as a wife, you've won life.
Steve: it is the honor of my life to be your husband. i fret too much, i need to realize i'm not Spike Spiegel, i don't have to go out in a blaze of glory, i can be in this paradise instead...
Mary: i never had luck with men. Gene Simmons forced me to marry him, he captured me with his tongue. Daran Norris was okay but he was boring as fuck. Steve was the first man i met who still had magic in his eyes. have you noticed that? people around the world, all their eyes are dead.
Steve: how do you cheer yourself up, babe?
Mary: i mean i never lack in Hershey's Kisses the size of a grapefruit. i can get those whenever i want. i gotta stop watching The Torkelsons, that show is more morbs.
Steve: major major major morbs.
Mary: there are morbs and then there are Southern morbs...
Steve: my con bag is Three Musketeers bars, with that weird whipped-chocolate filling that looks like it comes from outer space, the surface of Mars is inside a Three Musketeers bar.
Mary: not a Mars bar...
Julie Patzwald; bye everyone, i'm off to enroll in Grinnell College which i'm gonna remake as Grimnell College with my goth cheese.
Fortuneteller Baba from Dragon Ball: i live in Lake Palace...
Alan Watts: hey Baba, keep it down, the locals don't like it when you say something is better than the Taj Mahal.
Fortuneteller Baba: but i'm a local here in India.
Alan: wait, Taj Mahal Market in Sunnyvale, California?...
the other two Charlie's Angels at the donut wagon: here's to Farrah Fawcett, our real-life angel.
Kate Jackson and Jaclyn Smith choke up with tears as they hold two donuts high in the air with their heels.
Maiara Walsh: are those glazed donuts?.........i can take over for Farrah in this cozy little Charlie's Angels unit...
Pemberton form Homicide: Life on the Street: never let them catch you acting.
Bayliss: wait i was gay the whole time? okay but i was also saving myself for marriage and true love. sex is for suckers. i end up a murderer and a suicide? i'm too handsome for that fate!!!
Trent Reznor: who's more handsome, me or Kyle Secor?
Kyle Secor: you when you smile, me when i glower.
Annie Ilonzeh: ALLONS Y!!! i'm the new Doctor Who!!!
Full Metal Challenge: Ed and Al are back. but not Vic.
Steve Blum: yeah i don't talk to that guy Vic Mignogna anymore. i'm assuming he's still on the mainland?
Mary Elizabeth McGlynn: on this show i recite my PhD dissertation on neuroscience with my cool voice...
Jen R is skipping stones from the shoreline of the KAME HOUSE island.
Jen R: i love the beach.
turtle: just be sure those are stones and not turtle shells.
Jen: i saw your fortune in the ocean, wanna know it?
me: let's get this over with.
Jen: the answers are within.
me: that's no good with me, i need the answers to be without...
whisky: made in Giant Hershey's Kisses...
Alan Watts: it's a good thing i forgot but remembered before...
Andy Roddick: you know since i started this podcast i've never seen such a sharp decline in interest in tennis. all around the world. nobody cares about tennis.
Jon Wertheim: it's quite shocking. steep as a motherfucker.
Andy Roddick: yeah that's the other thing, they said i could only have a tennis podcast if Jon Wertheim was my sidekick, i mean there's only so much pain a man can take. i'm a man now, not the boy you saw playing tennis. i'm only using this platform to flirt with Danielle Collins...
Danielle Collins: i was told this was going to be about promoting tennis in the inner city. aim higher with your life goal, Raw Dick, like your serve toss it should be higher.
Instagram: hi i just moved here and i was wondering...
Jon Wertheim: i'm actually L. Ron Hubbard...
Pete Davidson: Taco Bell got tired of me, they said i wore them out.........so McDonald's. if you can't bring back the McDLT, do a McDTF...
Liam Gallagher: Wonderwall is a kind of weed.
Noel Gallagher: Wonderwall is all Oasis fans around the globe linked arm-in-arm. like that Coke "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing," which was the first Britpop song...
Paul McCartney: you're rubbish.
Liam Gallagher: we're not copying you, we're coping The Smiths...
Jamie Lee Curtis: i eat a lot of Metamucil trail mix...
Madonna: i like men. i just wasn't into Guy...
Guy Forget: remember me?
Andy Roddick: no.
Trinity the cat: i will yowl in frustration, but i'm lovable. i'm cool, i'm just frisky.
The M Den: if you still need to go to Ned's Bookstore...
Kevin Bacon: proms are meant to be private...
the cats: you must love us no matter what the hell we do.
Amanda Peterson: the Madonna song "Crazy for You" gave me the morbs and i turned to drugs.
Madonna: and then i met with the girl and i told her there was a better way. a better way to use.
Amanda Peterson: Madonna saved my life. i switched from dust to glitter.
yellow donut that's not lemon: exquisite, rare, exclusive, delicious, available at Safeway only from the hours of 9AM-10AM...
Hiromi's Sonicwonder: i'm Bjork with a violin...
Mary Elizabeth McGlynn: i had to go on a sunset cruise with that bitch Laura Bailey for work. we had to bathe together in a tiny-ass Love Boat tub. the only thing to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner was anime cookies. i had to talk to Laura Bailey with my NON-ANIME VOICE, my normal non-husky voice, it was a nightmare. after that i stopped going to Funimation conventions, they are not fun.
Keir Dullea: so that space smell is actually my outdoor BBQ cookout in that weird Ancient Greece bedroom. what you don't want is space smell that smells like trash. that's up to you, stop space junk...
Krillin: the 6 moxibustion dots on my forehead, the jieba, my mom wanted me to be a street fighter, not a Shaolin monk. i got my Buddhist training in Sherman Oaks...
Ear Horn: let's talk mugwort, dearie...
Usagi: i mean why is there another blonde in the group of five Sailor Moon girls? it's confusing...
Leslie Sbrocco: i ate Mozart's balls. i did it for the culture. Vienna and those red rooms. green marzipan and nougat. that hexagon box with the creepy face of Mozart on the lid. Sekt doesn't lead to sex, schnitzel does.
Morgan Bolling: i'm only here for the chocolate liqueur. Aubrey Plaza will play me in the movie...
Edward Packard: a whole concert inside a cave, only on PBS. i cry when they play that Christopher Cross Arthur song, more morbs.
Martin Yan: you haven't lived until you get fed stingless-bee honey into your mouth through a syringe.
Valley of the Dolls: a hotel is fancy if the lobby has shag carpeting.
Patty Duke: this is the only movie where i'm hot...
fountain pen: just a ballpoint pen that hides its ball point. gushing ink.
Susan Hayward: let's be honest, Catholic doesn't tell you how your life's gonna be, only astrology can do that for me.
Billy Corgan: fine, "Pentecost" sounds like Queen's "Rock It (Prime Jive)." give me SOME credit, i'm the only one promoting Rock Odyssey out here!!!
Ms. Frizzle: what, because i have red hair i can't speak Spanish?...
Uncle Sigh the horse: instead of the Kentucky Derby, naked unsaddled horses running through golden cornfields with two sidekicks: Lassie and a middle-aged woman on rollerblades...
Steve Blum: i know i saved countless lives as TOM the space anime robot on adult swim on Cartoon Network.
Mary Elizabeth McGlynn: just show the remaining 11 Narutos. make more Dexter's Laboratory.
Steve: my motivational speeches. but i want to get my hands dirty, i want to dig in and save the soil, save this beautiful land of ours that we're a living breathing part of, these Hawaiian hills.
Mary: Aina.
Steve Blum: whatcha doing, honey?
Mary Elizabeth McGlynn: oh babe i'm just kneeling by our stone shrine here by the water as i fold my hands. as i pray.
Steve: spare a prayer for Tito.
Mary: as i say a little prayer for my Japanese counterpart. R.I.P. Motoko Kusanagi.
Steve: well since that's gone what are your future plans?
Mary: this is gonna be a project but i'm thinking a live-action The Vision of Escaflowne...
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