* Grandma looks like she's enjoying herself
* Seth MacFarlane: the studio said they wanted The Croods to be Family Guy meets Primal...
* adult swim: Seth, go script-doctor The Croods. this will be your Flintstones...
* not the Coneheads Mister Rogers orange-sweater clones one...
* Bella Thorne: the OnlyFans thing didn't work out, i moved back home...
* dad: when did we get a cat?...
Bella: this mouse is our cat's shoe...
* Bella: despite being a millennial i get the whole abacus thing---cos every baby every generation gets to play on a xylophone---what i don't get is this weird Ninja Foodi...
brother: you mean microwave?
mom: you mean toaster oven?
dad: you mean Easy-Bake Oven?...
* dad: i'm dumb i gave in and i bought a new tv JUST for the Super Bowl...
mom: that's our mattress. if you had stopped watching sports...
dad: ...i only wanted two kids...
mom: ...we would have had more fun in our marriage...i had to get it from the next-door neighbor Mrs. Dahlrymple...
* dad: who's Ryan?
mom: Ryan's her boyfriend...and her teacher...
* dad: honey why is there a poster of a phoenix in your room?
Bella: Ryan likes this new writer...
dad: honey why is there a poster of Belladonna of Sadness in your room?...
Bella: Ryan's really into anime...but he voted for Biden...
* mom: i know i'm using an old-fashioned brick phone but this is ridiculous...
dad: can't get any? service that is?
mom: i don't get it. what's wrong with me? i look like Annabeth Gish!
dad: i wanted you to look like Annabeth Gish from SLC Punk...
* brother: dad, why isn't my fish a trophy on the wall singing a song?
dad: we're a Biden family, son.
* dad: did you back it up?
mom: you back dat thing up
dad: men don't have asses...
happy weekend, my babies
TOMORROW: Bacon King from Burger King...simply cos Burger King has that new logo...that throwback nostalgia '80s logo...but why haven't they brought back the Chicken Sandwiches? i had the American one in the '80s, and the Italian one, but i never had the French one, the one the Catholic Church banned, the one with all that glorious squeezy French sauce that tickled your taste buds like a tongue...
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