Friday, September 18, 2020

MASKED MAGIC



notes:

* yeah buddy, buddy with the mullet, you can't start an anti-mask rebellion at Walt Disney World, Walt would be none too pleased with you if you tried to take over his park. Walt wanted to grow a mullet, too, but it's called personal and societal responsibility. Walt Disney World is WAY too big for that, too expansive, it's like three wildlife reserve parks of space, it'll never take. Walt Disney World ain't Walmart. go get this mulleted gentleman one of our special masks, a gas mask with Mickey's head on top...

* magic is ____________ a McDonald's in Walt Disney World, a Starbucks in Disneyland...

* get distracted by the holdiays coming up, and it's Disney. spending the holidays at a Disney park, that's a double dose. to distract you from the double-dose you won't get for a while...

* don't tell me what i can't do!
you can't wear those reindeer ears
why not!
cos you look ridiculous

* don't tell me what i can't do!
DON'T TOUCH THE CHRISTMAS TREE!!!
i can if i want!
the snowflake hanging ornaments, they're sharp! those are made with real knives, not ice!!!

* don't tell me what i can't do!
want a churro?
man steps inside the large glass case for a churro...and Donald locks him in...

* kiss me with your mask on, that will prove you really love me...

* no fair, he got to kiss the stacked princess!
Goofy: do YOU look like Matthew McConaughey?!!!...he can kiss without a mask cos he's had everyone...

* i wonder if you need to wear a mask to ride Dumbo?
Dumbo: yes, even sex, you need to start learning to fuck in a mask...

* C3PO: i don't need to wear a mask...…...i will never fuck...

* Mickey: i borrowed this plaid coat from Sean Connery...
Sean Connery: remember back in the good ol' days when you could sing HO in this park?...

* it should have been the Battle of Los Angeles but it was never gonna be in the STAPLES Center anyway...

* don't worry, Hulu has live sports, but you can catch up on all your basketball highlights after the game on TikTok...

* four is an unlucky number. make that the five corners of the world...

* i don't mind wearing the cutoff socks that are cut so thin they don't have a tube, they're just a base, they're ankle socks. i know they are meant for women in their 40s attempting a Broadway ballet comeback, but i feel fine in them! light & airy!

* God bless you, my man. you WILL find your wife's ashes in the rubble of the fires and you WILL spread them over the waves of Hawaii, the only waters left in this cruel grey world that are still blue. this WILL happen for you, my friend. God bless you, brother...


happy weekend, my babies

TOMORROW: gonna go on a walkabout and travel to the Seaside McDonald's to see how the interior has changed. this was our only local international landmark, the wallpaper before told the story, the wallpaper was a tapestry scroll of all the happenings and incidents in the Salinas fields, how John Steinbeck was a witch. who used sleeping powder. how the area used to look like a '70s New York City Sesame Street neighborhood block. how the invention of water was made right here, which was then used to grow romaine lettuce which was only rancid for a while. but then that guy rammed his car into the place which was a monument and it went up in a terrible and terribly sad ball of flame...





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