Monday, July 18, 2011

...AND IT WORKED (?)






by now, you've all heard about the marine who youtubed himself asking out mila kunis to his BALL <----see what i did there, that's more of the innuendo double entendre stuff that you've come to love about my writings. the reason there's a ? in the post title is that the news keeps changing, i'm still not sure whether or not this did actually work and mila will in fact be in his arms in the flesh come that ball day CLICK HERE TO REFRESH

CLICK HERE TO SEE WHAT FOLLOWED

CLICK HERE TO WATCH MY FAVORITE, AS YOU ALL KNOW I'M A SUCKER FOR ALL THINGS BETTY

so for the sake of argument, let's contend that the invitation will in fact go through and a nice time will be had by all...the two of them. it begs the question: can youtube really be a possible conduit for achieving all of one's life goals? youtube's not just another useless piece of cyber junk? it's actually a dream-maker?

3 steps to reaching the stars when you're a socially-awkward loner:

1. set up that youtube account. this takes the most mettle, for it's always hard to start something from scratch out of the blue, but go ahead and push those buttons that will set up your account. do you realize that by doing so, you have become important? it's true, just by setting up your account and getting on camera NON-anonymously, you've introduced yourself to the world, and take it from me, people really are interested in what you have to say about the world's problems. there is no such thing as a stupid youtube rant about the middle east crisis...or your favorite brand of yogurt. random strangers are interested in you.

2. now for the courage part: ask out your favorite celebrity crush to a function. it works, baby, it's as simple as that. y'know, the one hollywood star you've been obsessing over since third grade, the one you lauded when they went into indies rather than blockbusters, the one whose poster you...ended up...yeah, that one

3. here's my example, to the one and only natalie portman: "hi...*record*...um, is this thing on? oh, okay, well, hi, ms. portman, i, uh, my name is the late phoenix...phoenix, you know: the bird that rises from the ashes, symbol of immortality, i use it in an ironic sense, it's LATE, see, i don't believe in immortality, i believe in nothingness. that makes me a drag at parties, that's why i'm doing this youtube thing...*chuckle*...anyway, i normally don't do this kind of thing, but...um, natalie, will you?..."

which celebrity from stage or screen or any facet of pop culture would you humiliate/attention-whore yourself for by posting a youtube video of yourself asking him/her out?




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8 comments:

the late phoenix said...

i wouldn't mind a little natalie portman in my prom punch...

Yes I Blog said...

Can I double with you and Natalie??? I'm straight...but she is one hot chick!!!! I wouldn't mind saying I had a date with her!

Trixie said...

Norm MacDonald. I love him.

And LOL at your youtube example

Missed Periods said...

Natalie wouldn't be able to resist you!

As for me, I'd humiliate myself for Jon Stewart.

the late phoenix said...

yes: there's always room for 3

trixie: not mike rowe? ;)

missed: noted and noted

cavernofthebeast.com said...

Jessica Alba...

Or vin diesel...

or Samuel Elliot- yeah he is hot for an old guy!!

~viemoira

the late phoenix said...

vie: i'm running out of posters

Trixie said...

Mike Rowe and his gang of roving guards? No thanks