SSS: THE PERFECTIONIST FALLS IN LOVE

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click above to end it and to find out...it's a crooked Triforce of course...if you remember just one thing about me, remember my deep love of the Zelda universe.

this is a topography tribute to a post by my beautiful friend Cheeky Minx, THIS ONE, CLICK HERE AT THIS LINK. now that you're at Cheeky's blog, explore every single post, you won't be disappointed. she is wonderful hot talented sexy creative sexy gorgeous artistic with that camera curls like no other master of black-and-white sexy and did i mention drop-dead gorgeous sexy.





i have a dream

just the two of us

we made it because we tried

we glide through the world while others struggle

we fly across the mud

we know a secret only the two of us found out

we share it between us daily with our smiles at each other

watching the upcoming Ender's Game film wouldn't have been as sweet

without you by my side, holding hands

all sugary

drinks and popcorn

i can share my love of sci-fi and geeky things with you

and afterwards, we can fuck like porn stars

there is a word for a scene so glorious

a perfect word for the perfect vignette...

a perfect moment against the backdrop of a permanently imperfect world

i shoulda never been a perfectionist

but rather a projectionist

to film this most *something* instant of you and i

together against the imperfect world

that will never understand us

never get our movies and our nerd stuff

never buy into our perfect love

because it exists solely as a crack in the facade

our four hands hold up the facade

this is a fairytale, we glide upon pixie dust

except it is not a fairytale, this is real,

i'm holding your hand long ago when there was a movie theater here

i held your hand and felt the warmth of it,

and someone, someone out there was filming it all

and the facade we held up was his divine screen

so we could look back at it years later

and see that we mattered

because he had captured the moment on film

it lived forever

though we didn't live forever

that was such a beautiful day

it was CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK.




a video-game commercial (what else?) led me to use this song. this was in my plans before...R.I.P. to The Master...






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TMIT: inb4 HAPPY HALLOWEEN! IT'S RAINING!

OBSERVATION #1: glancing at my youtube videos, i've noticed something about me that's very troubling that i never noticed before. my head is weird. it's a perfect oval shape. i look like one of those Easter Island heads. my head is the shape of a very large pill. Legends of the Hidden Temple on line one...

OBSERVATION #2: there was something wrong down there all weekend, i couldn't get comfortable down there. then it hit me: i must be wearing my boxer shorts backwards. so i took my monthly shower this morning to check: nope, they were on correctly, with the tag in the back. so...then...now i'm really worried.

OBSERVATION #3: IT'S RAINING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. how can you tell when your lover is close to orgasm? when she makes that face...she makes when she's laughing at my jokes...and my big head.

2. men: have you actually seen the G Spot? no, the G Spot is a myth, right? like God. hey: G Spot, God Spot...i think i'm onto something...

3. which is the most stimulating position? missionary/ woman on top, facing man/ doggy style/ other: it's this new position i invented called the parallel anal.

4. when you orgasm, are you: silent as a church mouse/ a bit of noise/ yell out at the top of your lungs? i express the noise of gratitude that this happened to me: it's akin to the sound of a church-house creeper...too many Bad Grandpa commercials swimming around in my oval head.

5. a lover orgasms WAY too prematurely. you still haven't gotten off. what to do? stop, or continue the play until you cum? i'm usually not on the other side of this. it's okay, we can stop, i'll do whatever my beautiful lover wants. i still have a hand i can go to later after lunch.

bonus: on average, when you masturbate, how long does it take you to reach orgasm? less than 3 minutes/ 3-5 minutes/ 5-10 minutes/ a year: i can't masturbate, my religion forbids it. that being said: half a second.

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UNSTRONG

it's like it knows. my jaw started really hurting the day before i was to have my first dentist appointment in a looong time, first major one since the root canal. i had to cancel, money is scarce. money is actually nonexistent. also, i think the weather has something to do with all this. when it starts getting cold, the nerve fibers and secret holes that line the right side of my jaw where the canal was rooted all start to act up, pin up, and announce their pain. it fucking hurts. remembering back, yeah, i finally had that first oral surgery i keep yammering on about during Christmastime, it was during the cold. i hate the cold now. no, that's not true, the cold is still a temporary nuisance. i'd still rather be frozen alive than burned alive. i still hate the sun like any South Park Goth Kid worth his salt should.

anyway, speaking of the cold and the Fortress of Solitude,

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK,

and in the comments, talk about how Superman has impacted your life.

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SSS: BUH, DOWN

*CLICKY CLICKY*

click above to finish the topography, but what is the treasure in the middle at the top of the cliff? tune in next week. shameless plug

GUYS NOT FEELING WELL AT ALL REALLY CONFUSED ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS EVERYTHING NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO MY FUTURE DON'T KNOW WHERE TO LAY MY HEAD JUST SAW A BOTTLE OF PINK MILK LYING INNOCENTLY ON THE COUNTERTOP THAT BRINGS MEMORIES OF STUFF I WANT TO DO THE RIGHT COLUMN OF MY JAW HURTS LIKE FUCK IT HURTS TO EAT CHOCOLATE ON THAT SIDE IT HURTS TO CHEW AND BREATHE AND SPIT IT HURTS TO LINE THAT SIDE OF MY MOUTH WITH WHITE MILK MOMMY IT'LL HURT IF I SWALLOW LOOKS LIKE IT'S MORE DENTIST FOR ME THOUGH I CAN'T AFFORD ONE TOOTH MORE HOT DENTAL ASSISTANTS IN MY MOUTH BUT A DREAM NO MONEY NEVER HAD ANY MONEY CAN'T SURVIVE WITHOUT MONEY I AM ANTI-MONEY BECAUSE I TAKE AN ARTIST'S STANCE AGAINST WORKING BECAUSE I'M TOO LAZY WON'T GET FAMOUS WORKING AS A SANDWICH ARTIST BUT ART IS ART I CAN'T THINK WORSE I'VE THOUGHT EVERY THOUGHT ALREADY NOTHING MORE TO DO THINK SAY SPEAK MEAN THE WHITE BAND ACROSS MY COMPUTER SCREEN IS GETTING WIDER SOON IT WILL BREAK NO MORE COMPUTER THAT'S A GOOD THING I WILL FINALLY BE FREE OF THIS ALBATROSS I CAN NOW LIVE LIFE THE WAY LIFE SHOULD BE LIVED FREE FREE FREE FREE COBAIN SAID PUNK ROCK IS FREEDOM I CONCUR BUT I'D JUST LIKE TO ADD INDUSTRIAL INTO THERE MY SMALL CONTRIBUTION I WISH I COULD SING RATHER THAN BE ANOTHER POINTLESS FAN CREATE THE ART NOT JUST COMMENT ON THE ART BUT THE LORD GOD WHO DOESN'T EXIST THAT I PRAY TO DIDN'T GRANT ME A SINGING VOICE I'M JUST SCREWED I MUST WALLOW IN THAT FACT THAT I AM NOT TALENTED FOREVER THAT IS MY HELL WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE HELL? I WAS BORN IS THERE LIFE AFTER HELL THIS LIFE IS HELL YOU'RE TELLING ME THERE'S MORE HELL AFTER YOU DIE? HOW MUCH MORE CAN A MAN TAKE? ONLY THE LORD WHOM I BELIEVE IN KNOWS THAT HE WON'T GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE IN A DAY I CAN HANDLE EXACTLY ZERO MORE PROBLEMS IN MY LIFE GOING FORWARD MY ACHES LIMB MY BONES FEEL BROKEN AFTER A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP OF 8 HOURS THE MORE SLEEP THE MORE I DON'T HAVE TO FACE THE DAY WITH ORANGE JUICE NOT FEELING IT NOT FEELING YOU NOT FEELING THIS BLOG THIS COMPUTER LIFE ANYMORE NEVER DID IT WAS JUST SOMETHING TO DO TO KILL TIME WHAT IS MY ARTISTIC DESTINY? BLOGGING IS THE POOR MAN'S STAR WARS GO OUT AND CREATE YOUR OWN STAR WARS ONLY FAME MATTERS EVERYONE IS THE LITTLE PEOPLE YOU EAT FOOD YOU DRINK DRINKS YOU RELATE BUT YOU DON'T MATTER IN THE END YOU MUST BE REMEMBERED TO MATTER NO MORE ORIGINAL IDEAS AND THEN I LEARN ABOUT A NEW A PERFECT CIRCLE SONG, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK , AND ALL IS WELL

WAKE UP, WHAT JUST HAPPENED? FULL PERFECT CIRCLE WHAT WAS THAT THERE? I FEEL SAME AS ALWAYS, NOT FEELING IT...







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TMIT: SOMETHING SMELLS...ME

1. so it appears i'm at a shotgun wedding. no, i mean, my lover has made a demand on me and my fragile psyche. i'm to lose 10-15 pounds or the wedding is off! should i accept this proposal? no, i'm an internet person but i still have my dignity. oh, who am i kidding? of course i will, i have to, nobody else will ever love me, i have to snatch up the first one who does. i don't even love me anymore. my parents forgot my name one time at a call.

wait, hold up, i'm already skinny as a rail, you guys know that. what's going on here?

is anybody out there?

help!

2. do you do Halloween? costume choice this year? yep. same as always: Santa.

adult swim bumps taught me that Halloween is just Samhain but with slutty costumes and dangerously unwrapped candy. i confirmed this with my priest, who was only too happy to talk with me on the phone for a good hour about it. he also forgot my name by the end of the call. i learn about the world solely through adult swim because i'm a shut-in. don't cry for me. i'm a quarter Argentinian. that's not true, but it sounds like something that could be true, y'know? actually, cry for me, please, i lead a very lonely life. i don't want your sympathy, but i do want your coffee, especially if it's a pumpkin spice latte.

3. you're a blogger, but forget that...thank you, oh thank you SO MUCH! can i have a real life now? oh, sorry, weren't done...in real life are you:

a) an over-sharer who spills the beans...huh? huh? *smiles*...about every single detail of your life to everyone but especially to the Starbucks barista daily?

b) one of those whose sex life is off-limits to those not friends and family?

c) tight as a clam...and you're an extremely private person as well.

well, c) is my best joke, but is the Starbucks barista cute? is she cute? little bit? no? i don't mind. i'm not like that. i just want someone to talk to, i've been banned from all bars, and my therapist is too expensive. she's coming over here! what do i do? what do i say? what does she want from me? she wants to take my order? what does that mean? do we have to get married now? shotgun wedding? PSL? like, what does that stand for? Pussy something? i don't want to be too forward, but...Pussy Sex Love?

i'm now banned from all Starbuckseseseses.

4. men, your significant other has asked to sleep with your cock in her mouth. what do you do? pretty good start for a first draft, but it stills needs the pizza guy and the fluffer who is the pizza guy's secret brother and the real heir to the estate...

nobody else on set wants to play the boyfriend with his cock in the girlfriend's mouth? okay, i guess i'll do it, i'm the auteur writer/director/producer of this piece, might as well be the star as well. everyone must make sacrifices to complete the project, everyone must chip in, porn is art, people, here we go, on 3...1,2,3...and action!

bonus: if you were remembered for one thing, what would it be? i just want to be remembered at all, that is the key to "eternal life". i read Dostoevsky in between takes...of my porn...


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AMY > SIRI

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK


go ahead, leave them in the comments...





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SSS: CUT

*CLICKY CLICKY*

click above to begin the topography map, 2 of 4



time to get serious now
time to reflect
back to a time when art replaced religion
and food

guitar licks were heavy
they cut to the bone
they prevented you from cutting
because they were sounding out your pain

or you'd be cut down

the closest you've ever been to going to church
a modern church of muddy lyrics and fury
lyrics which appropriated the staid sermon
and transformed it into '90s cool

the succession of the music line
and the success, though unwanted,
guaranteed a clean jump from the Beatles to then
the present was secure

it was all cut down

our future is not

secure


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TMIT: I'M LATE, I'M LATE, FOR MY VERY IMPORTANT CHEEKY DATE

1. could you date someone who's so into Legos that his whole life is Legos, he lives in a Lego house with Lego furniture and photos of massive Lego sculptures and creations and 3-D art adorn the walls and the staircase, his wallet photos are all Lego men and when he dies, he wants to donate his brain to Lego science for the good of Legokind...to be brought back after freezing into a living, breathing Lego Man? see above. obviously, no. Playmobil is where it's at.

2. you are out of undies on your big date. next move? re-wear dirty/ swimsuit bottoms and tops/ line worn undies with fresh panty-liners/ commando: i don't know what any of this stuff is. i like eating dates, though...

3. in order to date the person of your dreams, you must be on a reality show with them? do you? the person of my dreams is a reality star? really?...really?...fuck yes! it's my big break! i'm gonna be the next Keanu. no more lame youtube channel, doin' some real tv now. and by real i mean REAL.

4. okay, big bomb at the next date between you two: turns out, she's a crime-fighting superhero. oh what to do? do you sizzle things up or let things cool? we can continue on one condition: i get to wear the tight spandex black-leather cat suit at our next session. Catwoman was good at the end of the day...

5. you are in the mood to impress at this next date, but your outer and inner clothes (shirt/skirt/shirt skirt/ skirt shirt/bra/pants) split. do YOU split? what do you do? hide with jacket or sweater/ secret safety pins/ 'fess up and let it all hang out/ immediately split: go out for banana splits

bonus: you go away for the weekend with your new boo (do people even use "boo" anymore?). a ton of outdoor fun was planned, but the skies opened up and it's raining Noah's Ark-style. the rain is never gonna let up. what do you two do instead? pray, since it's the end of the world, the Second Great Flood...and fuck like rabbits...or rather fuck like blue whales...just picture that...the whales...creating a huge storm in the ocean...yeah...yeah...that's livin' right there...that's fucking nature right there.

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SSS: SHAMPOO, CONDITIONER, RAVE, REPEAT

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click above to wash out the last series and begin this new one so fresh and so clean. my front is your naked palette.




my brilliant, gorgeous, and lovely friend Juli---mate in British---everyone calls her Jules but for some reason i call her Juli---sent me a link to a cool song she said reminded her of me and my, uh, personality. i couldn't agree more when i heard it, the rambling about cats especially and the times i try to connect disparate thoughts together in my writing and succeed each time.

so, here it is, enjoy:

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK


thanks, babe, you know i'm in love with you, right? and i'm not saying that just to be polite in front of blog company.

CLICK HERE TO VISIT JULI'S BLOG, YOU MUST GO THERE, HER WRITING IS SO GOOD IT MAKES YOU REEVALUATE HOW GOOD YOU THOUGHT YOUR OWN WRITING WAS.

think i should go outside, it's gloomy today, could rain, perfect weather.

am i still alive?

at this moment?

yes i am

i just typed something

that proves it

might not always be the case

but for now, yes




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