TNH: I LOVE YOU AS YOU HATE ME

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click on the Melancholia above, one heavenly body reveling in and bathing in another heavenly body, for #2 of 5, festive-colored hurricane spray paint portending something...

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK, FOR THE FINAL WORLD TOUR

i love you, you hate me, anal feelings set us free

this isn't a game, this happened to me

we lock together in love, connection, sex, and rage, we come to the classroom of your eastern bedsheets, we fuck like there's no tomorrow, there is no tomorrow, our bodies build up sweat as your raven fiery-red ashen-brown hair swings wildly until i clutch it, pull it, saddle it, we grunt in animal unison, her hands clutching the bedpost, my hands clutching her ass cheeks, my cock tented enough to form a smooth shiny shaft, poled hard, long, and straight, she arches her back as i'm inserting it into her asshole for the final play, we love hard, the media coins/ as we love hard, we've lived hard, and she spouts out at this anal time all of the things she despises about me, i'm her container for all that is wrong with the world, but i take it, we fuck and reveal truths as we fuck, now it all comes out in juices, the juices dissolve the hard-shell lies until there is only revealed truth, bandages off, only the white morsel of truth, rare, bare, hurting/i take it all in, i love you more, i love her more, she is my connection, my threadbare wisp to another soul before Melancholia hits Earth, she's my sounding board, i can take it, i've been hated all my life by the world anyway, what's one more? i will take the blame for your father and your failed acting career and that my book sold more copies than yours, it's not about love or hate anymore, humans don't know how to express these grand concepts, but we do know how like animals to confront one another, say hi, shake hands, lick faces, sex our holes up, and kiss, that's how we interact/and like the creatures that we are, animal instincts come over me as i cum all over her pert ass, i go from strong alpha male to crumbling child in the fetal position, i fall off the bed and into my own pool of the past and what i should be mad about and spew forth to her./ should i be angry? angry anymore? mad at a world that is almost over, gone never to repeat again, this human experiment writing its epilogue/my mother's gentle advices quashed by daily news reports of brutal wars and money-making conflicts and the neverending attempt at religion/my mother's keepsake of a dancing circus elephant around my neck squeezing my neck to snap me out of it, that dancing which seems so out of the past, out of place now in the now/i try to speak, but i can't breathe, i'm in water, struggling for air and peace and identity, it's all i can do to react to the next news report of doom or my lover's scowl...in the distance, soft music plays, it's the strains of a violin, strumming not for little old me and my pathetic ramblings, but a part of a distant star song, and i feel fine...swimming, paddling for the next breath, the next stroke...

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TMIT: MY FANTASY IS YOU IN MY BED

PIC 10 FROM TOP PIC: pssst, hi everybody, it's me, your late phoenix!

PIC 14 FROM TOP PIC/LAST PIC: i wish that was you

1. do you think that acting out a fantasy can damage a relationship? i don't think, i know, take the case of the late phoenix: he's a blogger, he spends three days a week on this blog, typing his little stories which amuse him so. this is clearly brain damage caused by year upon year of intense Dungeons and Dragons or something, guess he never ascended to the guy who gets to make all the decisions, who plots out the fantasy and makes the underlings, uh, friends, around him live out his fantasy of swords and silver and wench sex, uh, our collective fantasy of medieval ploughing...now the poor phoneix wants a job at a comic-book company where he can ink and color his latest mind imaginings...or a bit part in the latest Nutcracker community-centre-theatre production. come on, Casting Director, please? i'm bored this time of year, it will distract my winter doldrums.

2. couples, i hear, role-play to live out their fantasies rather than introduce another person into the mix. is this acceptable? completely unacceptable, we as humans must always strive to include everybody in the neighborhood watch to come and join in our reindeer games, that makes for a more bonded 'hood and then when you ask to borrow some sugar, the babe down the street knows what you really mean.

3. is there a particular character from a film or tv series that you fantasize about? do you have thirty minutes? an hour? a day? the rest of your and my life? this is why i blog, to escape into my full-on space, anime, and wonder geek/nerd, to spill my video-game and kid-like qualities onto this jittery world, to embrace my inner loser/loner with the full fury of a wand and a Hobbit foot and a saber of light. Counselor Troi, call me...

4. anything off-limits for fantasy? child abuse, rape, incest, age play, etc? it's too early in the morning and too cold to think of such things, i'm bothered right now by a piece of nagging chewed-up bacon stuck in my teeth, the right side of my teeth which has been experiencing brutal pain all weekend. the pain pills are diminishing their returns, and just this morning, a light bulb went off, see, i'm not so smart after all, i finally realized i needed Orajel for this, not more pain pills, i think i unintentionally transformed myself into a druggie for no good reason. the piece of bacon whispered in my ear, "who's your daddy?", does that sufficiently answer this question?

5. what is the most taboo thing you have ever fantasized about doing? all i'm gonna say is that it involves a Jack-In-The-Box

6. name a fantasy of yours that you don't really see yourself acting out? why, brudda, why? well, it involves a very special woman who lives apart far away from me right now and a plane ticket, i want to date her, i want her to be my girlfriend and eventually my wife, but...it's not that i don't have the guts, it's that i've kinda given up on this whole blogging thing, i'm tired of the constant typing that really doesn't lead anywhere. there's always the "why am i exactly doing this?" aspect to all this online traffic. dunno, maybe internet dream love matches can come true...but i'm not holding my breath...okay, i'll hold my breath for a little bit, 'til i turn blue...and green... and red...Crimbus colors

7. have you ever pretended the person you were wildly fucking was someone else and didn't tell them about it? sure, everyone does this subconsciously whether they admit it or not, we as humans are always in the process of one-upping ourselves, of bettering our situations, perceived or otherwise, we always want that apartment in the sky, much to the detriment of who we already have. Natalie Portman, sure, but i have a real chance with this real woman overseas, so this is where IRL crushes Fantasy with its lightsaber, it has to, or i have no hope left.

8. tell us of your biggest fantasy fail, trying to make your fantasy real? it seems inevitable that fantasy and reality won't mix well, it's oil and water and alcohol---alcohol, that's the problem ingredient, check---it always seems like a good idea at the time, but y'know, that's why Star Trek TNG is a tv show, a brilliant tv show, but a tv show just the same...i tried the Klingon Mating Ritual, i tried it at a Jack-In-The-Box parking lot...ended up on youtube...

bonus: tell us about your most cherished fantasy and all the juicy details of how you went about living it out, that's the kind of sick people we are. nosy, nosy, aren't we?!!! okay: it involves my beautiful babe i'm thinking about now and a peach Princess dress. Ed from across the way has agreed to don his King Koopa costume. i don my plumber's hat, my plumber's suspenders, my plumber's suit, my plumber's wrench, and my plumber's wrench, meaning my 15-inch cock. oh, damn, i just shaved off my Movember mustache, that would have come in handy now...

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INDABUT

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

Seal, my man, my main man, it's not too late...is all i'm sayin'...

TNH: ACROSS THE SEA

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this last winter series will be brought to you comprised of pics from Lars von Trier's gloriously ineffable film Melancholia. click above for #1 of 5.

CLICK HERE AT THIS LINK TO START THE END OF THE WORLD AND THE END OF MY TEETH

again the winter comes to hit me/in my teeth/VANQUISH running out, right side of my face burns with tooth pain/i've aged this year, i'm not doing well/the rain pelting against my computer window like an unwelcome visitor reminding me i am mortal, frail, human, i make mistakes/but i still can think and dream and imagine in this old body/my body filled with the melancholia of von Trier beauty and schoolyard-bully ugly/i reach for my manhood but can clutch only my boyish bulge/ but i still think constantly of my lover across the sea/my potential soul mate i talk to with a blog/so fragile are the types, yet so infused with everything are the words typed/as if an electronic signal can interrupt the normal flow of fate/does she see me? is she too scared to make a move?/perhaps it is i that is confusing a speck of hope with lurid destiny, a destiny writ long ago in the spaces of a schoolyard bully/one which is laughed at and swept away in the pelting rain/across the sea lives my blogging friend, she is the one, the one finally, i can sense it as i sense the rain hitting my face/ what is the next action to take? the one which will clear up gray skies/this isn't a usual end of the year, this year is special, this year was foretold, there is not much more time left, time seems to hurry up like a jackrabbit when you least want it to, it is truly time to act and not to think, think about the End without you...

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TMIT: I FORGOT TO BLOG

1. have you ever had sex with someone famous, or one who eventually became famous, if only locally? i've worked all my life with those who are locally famous, there are never those who are more determined and dangerous than local celebrities, the news anchors or the big-fish-in-a-small-pond bitch actresses or that guy who saved the town, i mean, i coulda done that, i coulda jumped that building with my Super Mario video-game jumping skills like that guy did. yes, i'm jealous, the actress turned me down, she had me get her her Mio instead, her pomegranate Mio. it's the local ones you have to watch out for, they've made it, but they want more, they want more rungs on the ladder, they are setting their sights on Hollywood and will trample anyone who gets in their way...i want to be a local celebrity so bad! seriously, i'm, like, right now just one rung below being the local hero, one rung. will i make it? stay tuned, i'm still writing...about jealousy.

2. in the sexy spirit of Six Degrees of Separation, did you have sex with someone who had sex with someone who...Papa Smurf? eventually with someone famous? oh, you want to know about the spreading of my seed. always use protection, folks, or the sexy becomes sewagey. other than Papa, who's a notorious pimp, no. wish i had, though, it would be my big in into the business, show business, i could TMZ my way into a producer's office, that's kinda like the more noble way of doing it, it's one rung above the casting couch. i'm related to Tom Hanks by sex activity!

3. in the opposite direction, did you have sex with someone whose name you didn't know? no, i don't have time for that, i feel my time on this Earth is short, like i have two more years tops, thus i can only fuck famous people, what's the point otherwise?

4. someone whose name you knew but then have forgotten? that's the worst, huh, that's just plain embarrassing, i mean that really makes you look like a cad, like she was just another rung on the ladder or something...*my eyes are coyly darting back and forth right now. i have a shit-eating grin on my face and on my Movember stache, it's really something to behold*

5. someone who you suspect may have forgotten you? everyone, everyone on blogspot. seriously, where the hell is everyone? everybody decided to pick Thanksgiving to delete their blogs. i'm lonely. should i blog on? dunno, does a tree make a sound in the forest? yes it does, it makes the sound of breathing in our human waste. wait, i wanted that to sound majestic and awe-inspiring and philosophical, i messed that up. followers, lurkers, I NEED YOU. nothing? fuck my life.

bonus: someone you wish you could forget? the gal from the Twinkies company whom i fell in love with, she texted me a few days ago after two years of post-breakup radio silence to inform me that I, me, your late phoenix, was the reason there would be no more Twinkies, something about my horrid love-making method and my bad cum as filling...

CLICK HERE FOR TMI TUESDAY

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DINGLE DANGLE

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK: I AM TERRIFIED TO FRY TURKEY, BUT THIS MAN INSPIRES ME SO

CLICK HERE AT THIS LINK FOR THE R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-EMIX

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TNH: THE SILVER LINE

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click on The Master above to eat this series whole like so much turducken

what, you thought i was gonna post a pic of Nate Silver? the election is over, finally over, it's time for the country to cum together and all that jazz. as you sit down for the Eating tomorrow, reminisce over Thanksgivings past. when i do, i think about The Twilight Zone marathons. it's true, kids too young to remember, the Twilight Zone Marathon would delightfully invade our tv screens during Thanksgiving, not Halloween like it does now shabbily on SyFy Channel. true, it does make more sense that the surreal and intelligent black and white best sci-fi serial thought-provoking show which made us scream and think is more aligned with the screaming of Halloween ghosts and not cranberry sauce, but it was tradition when i was younger, and you never buck tradiiton, at least not until you're a teenager. plus, the fact that TZ never fit in with Turkey Day was a perfect Twilight Zone episode in itself, it was strange and alluring, it didn't make sense and yet it happened every year and nobody seemed to question it, it was simply the fog of war, simply the Zone working its magic. Rod Serling is my father and of this i am finally not ashamed...oh, the stories Dad could have told me in his den with his smoking jacket on, pipe in mouth blowing away, that smoke which would eventually kill him, but before, a few tidbits and secret tales about producing television, creating quality television in those days, the good ol' days, trailblazing for science-fiction storytelling forever more, for every generation which came after, and not ending with a Moral Orel-style God talk and belt spanking and dropping of drawers and revealing of Dad's underwear, rather ending with science and boundless imagination...and cranberry sauce.

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK, TO MINE THE SILVER

THEN, please answer the following questions:

1. gold or silver?

2. what do you do to feel no pain?

3. what special item do you keep in a box underneath your bed?

4. would you dress up in a pilgrim outfit and hat if that's what your lover wanted?

5. Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are completely and utterly played-out, these are three holidays which are old as dirt, boring, and just aren't getting it done anymore. come up with three new holidays which will replace the old three this time of year and describe what each holiday is all about.

HAPPY SAD THANKSGIVING GOBBLE GOBBLE FUCKING RELATIVES LARGE-ASS WOODEN OUTSIDE CROWDED TABLE NOT ENOUGH STUFFING YEARS OF ABUSE AND PENT-UP FRUSTRATION COMING OUT WITH A FEW SIPS OF WINE CAN'T CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY WHO LOST THE FUCKING REMOTE? RAN OUT OF THE SICK LUMPY MASHED POTATOES ORDER A PIZZA IS THIS ALL THAT THERE IS TO LIFE? SAD HAPPY THANKSGIVING, MY BABIES!!!

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TMIT: SLEEP IS GOOD

so cold, it's so cold, i'm so fucking cold...oh, *closes window*

y'know, folks, sleep really does work wonders on the body. this last Sunday Morning (Maroon 5), i wasn't as agitated and knee-jerk reactionary when my carefully-crafted youtube comment wasn't responded to by my youtube "friend". it was a double whammy, it hurt twice, because i regarded that comment to be one of my most brilliant. i'm used to being ignored and never acknowledged on youtube, but not with that comment, come on, i worked hard on that one, i dropped sweat thinking that one up. i had had a nice long good-night's-rest the night before, so my cells were calm, my mind was unusually clear and strong and not swayed by my usual flights of emotive fancy, it was quite remarkable. sleep: who needs pills?

1. when was the last time you or a loved one had their prostate checked? loved one, *starts to cry*, don't have one of those :(

2. besides a medical professional, how many other people have had their finger up your ass? the world...it's someone else's world, not mine, and everyone, including me, is living in it. like it's Lebron's or Federer's or Corgan's world. also, yeah, i could have gone with the answer "opinions" here, as in "opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one." that's especially true now with the dawn of this whole internet thing where everyone has a blog and spouts off the type 24/7.

3. have you ever given or received a prostate massage? was it pleasurable? did you cum? i always cum, but for different reasons. yesterday, it was 'cause of the sun, the warm rays of the sun affects my body so. this morning, it was 'cause of the sun, but 'cause of the majestic beauty of the sun, my poet's sensibilities cummed. prostate massage, huh? man, i am so out of the loop, i guess i live under a rock, i actually live below Rock, the white rock, 30 Rock...man, i need to read a book...

4. do you enjoy anal play: rimming, fingering, penetration? ummmmmmmm...fingering as in knitting a holiday-themed glove for Crimbus? that's slang, right? "fingering" is producing the "fingers" of a glove, huh?

5. ever had anal sex? i tried once at a street corner, the guy thought i was asking about the Annals of Rome, we had quite the conversation about mathematics, homosexuality, and the lost art of letter-writing. i'm not gay, but i was happy after that.

6. you're about to swim down the ol' chocolate hole---or have anal sex, which is the medical term---do you choose a finger up the arse, prostate stimulator/massager, or penis, either real or strap-on? all of them, and none of them. gotta go with PENIS, that is such a perfect word, it speaks to all of our collective human fears, dreams, and wants with just the one word, it's the perfect one-word response to ANY video on youtube, ANY video, i see it all the time in the comments section, it's the response which always gets the most thumbs-ups: PENIS

bonus: show us your Movember stache? post a photo of you. i can't do that!!! i'd blow my cover!!! but i can assure you, i am wearing a nice burly Movember stache presently...

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LET ME JUST PULL OUT MY WEATHER VANE...

CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK, FOR A MOST INFORMATIVE SANDY REPORT

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TNH: THE WARMTH LINE

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click above to read my palm for #3 of 4. adult swim recently ended the run of the brilliant anime Casshern Sins, check it out. i give it the late phoenix stamp of approval so you're not wasting your time with this one, i won't give away the long process of going through each episode finding your way out of the maze of surreal walls and life lessons along this apocalyptic, robotic, philosophic journey, but i guarantee you will feel fulfilled afterwards, you'll cry your heart out and read more books on robotics, philosophy...and The Apocalypse.

AFTER CLICKING THE PIC OF CASSHERN, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINK

THEN, please answer the following questions:

1. what is your ideal, perfect warm place?

2. what images are stirred in your imagination or memory from this Reznor instrumental masterpiece? don't let the actual images from the music video influence you, what are your images?

3. how do you warm up to people? how do strange people warm up to you?

4. fuck you're hot. babes, how do you like it? you like it gentle? you like it when my able fingertips warm up and massage your ass like that?

5. how do you prefer your french fries: piping, burn-the-roof-of-your-mouth hot, or warm?

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