Monday, December 9, 2013


1. during sex, would you rather be blindfolded or do the blindfolding? i like to have the control...of being able to relinquish control.

2. would you rather watch a sibling have sex or have the sibling watch you have sex? as long as it's not...y'know...that.

3. would you rather be arrested for soliciting a prostitute or jailed for one month of civil disobedience? i hate civil disobedience, i had to write a long-ass, detailed, drawn-out high-school-civics final-exam essay on civil disobedience complete with those tiny numbers at the bottom signifying the sources where you got all your quotes from, footnotes, yeah that's it, i hate footnotes, they're too difficult to type. CD is too much work, would rather pop in a CD of porn or visit Honey again at the Sbarro parking lot for some fun times.

i am what's wrong with this world. RIP Nelson Mandela.

4. would you rather give/receive a blowjob on a crowded subway car or have sex on a picnic table at a family reunion? picnic, haven't seen my family in the longest, this will bring us all together.

5. would you rather do a striptease for your pastor/rabbi/priest/religious leader or for your co-workers? i don't work, i'm just waiting to die. my priest, but it won't be as shocking as you might think, my priest likes that sort of thing, he gets kinky with the altar wine after hours. he closes up and locks tightly the church at 9PM sharp, doesn't want any of the street-people riffraff to get in, so he then has the entire lonely empty church to himself. he defrocks, strips down naked, and dances in the pews all night long.

bonus: would you rather have endless amounts of money or the endless love of your significant other? love, money is dirty. every time i handle a penny, i wash my hands five times. i don't have a disease, i just hate being dirty. some say love is a disease...

please pray for my family. thank you.




AtiyaLuv said...

your answer to #1 is exquisite!


Love your answers as usual!
and I agree, Love is a disease!

Anonymous said...

3. good gawd you're a hoot!
"...visit Honey again at the Sbarro parking lot for some fun times."

4. lol

Bonus: Chemically, love is temporary insanity.

Roxy Music (or was it Bryan Ferry?) says love is a drug.


Anonymous said...

P.S. forgot to say that I loved Todd Margaret. Great show, brilliant writing. Wish it was still in production.

the late phoenix said...

atiya: exquisite is such an exquisite word.

H: we all wanted Arrested Development to come back...and then it did...and then we all wished that it had just remained a nostalgia arrow.

Juliette said...

What about civil disobedience when carol singing, sweet phoenix? ;)

the late phoenix said...

juli: i'll do anything for cocoa.